Distillation: Communicating with Locals, 2005
• Sincere admiration opens doors. Admiring a local’s dog/cat/flowers/motorcycle/garden/whatever is a great way to start a conversation.
• Meet friendly locals in the Czech Republic by attending a hockey game. I am a 26-year-old woman who turned loneliness into lots of fun this way. I’m planning my second solo trip for October, and the hockey arena will be my first stop!
• When you’re on a train, make conversation. Many Europeans want to practice English as much as you may want to practice their native language.
• One night in Paris, we noticed a hundred or so people on the Pont Neuf, so we checked it out. Locals our age were just hanging out drinking beer, wine, Coke — even smoking pot. Everyone was simply relaxing. My wife and I found a nice spot to sit (Notre-Dame ahead, Eiffel Tower behind), bought a few beers from a vendor, and hung out until well past 1 a.m. No police and no trouble, just a lot of fun.
• If you’re traveling with a skateboard-loving kid, take skateboard/surfer-type stickers for them to give to new friends.
• Make eye contact. After a week in Rome, I hadn’t really met a soul. So I thought about it — and I realized that I hadn’t actually looked at anyone! Being a big-city dweller, I was in the habit of avoiding eye contact with people on the streets. That evening, I made plenty of eye contact, and within an hour I was having the time of my life with new friends at a nearby trattoria!
• Irish nightlife centers around the pubs. To meet locals, arrive a bit early to snag a big table with several extra chairs. As the night gets busier, people always ask to share the table. Every time I’ve tried this, I’ve met a fun montage of great people.
• A couple of tips: Eat by yourself in busy restaurants. You may be seated at a table of locals with an empty chair, or they may come and sit by you. And fake ignorance. Even if you know the answer, just ask that cute German girl a question. It could lead to a long conversation.
• When I’m taking local transportation, I like to engage people by asking simple questions (like making sure I’m on the right train, or where to get off), which signals to locals that I’m a traveler looking to connect.
• The easiest way to meet locals is to be where they are. Locals are not watching the 10:10 a.m. bell-ringing festival or prowling through souvenir shops. They’re living their normal lives: the guy at the car wash, people at the local town pool. Visitors are always welcome for a buck or two. Just wander the shopping area of any little town and strike up conversations.
• Don’t be so stuck on your schedule that you miss out on once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. We had just parked our car in a small German town, and a kindly gentleman walking by made a comment about the tight squeeze and how lucky we were to find a place. In chatting with him, we learned that he had served with Rommel in North Africa. Our schedule was suffering, so we said our good-byes. Later it dawned on me that I had missed the chance to discuss real history with a participant. I was too concerned with my plans to take the time to buy the guy a beer, so I missed out on an experience I can never recapture.
• Pictures of grandchildren are great icebreakers!
• If you belong to a service club like Kiwanis or Rotary, check the Internet for local club meetings.
• Just as you want to meet local folks when abroad, look kindly on foreign travelers in the United States. They just might be looking for the same kind of experience.
• Everywhere I’ve traveled a polite, genuine smile is the best icebreaker.
• Attending church services can be a great way to meet locals. Neighborhood churches (rather than famous cathedrals and huge “downtown” churches) are the best, since visitors are less common there, and people go out of their way to make you feel welcome. Many have a welcoming coffee-and-cookies time after Mass.
• Try second-class seating on trains. You’ll find lively locals instead of stuffy businessmen and American tourists.
• Track down your European roots! The highlight of my recent European adventure was visiting my Italian relatives — a truly priceless experience. Four months before I left for Europe, I sent my relatives a brief letter. I introduced myself, let them know when I would be in Italy, and told them I would be interested in meeting them. They quickly responded, offering me a ride from the nearest train station and a place to stay. They met me at the station in Trento and brought me to their small village north of the city. I was the only tourist in town, and all 500 inhabitants of the village (many of them my relatives) seemed as excited to meet me as I was honored to meet them.
• While in Germany, be sure to visit one of the many thermal baths that are found in just about any large town. These places are only frequented by Germans. If you have the courage, pay a bit extra and visit the saunas. Clothing inside a sauna is not optional — it’s forbidden! And in most places, men and women sauna together. How’s that for an icebreaker?
• I have just returned from St. Petersburg, Russia. This was my first-ever trip out of the country. I handed out pencils (with pictures of American dollar bills) and candy to the local children. I was the talk of the town. I found the people to be very appreciative of me, the dorky American tourist from a small farm town, thanks to candy and funny-looking pencils.
• Don’t know anyone in your destination? You might just make contact over the Internet. Last fall I visited Croatia. Before going I posted to an Internet travel bulletin board while doing research for my trip. A Croatian journalist responded to several of my posts. He gave me lots of good ideas, and when I asked about getting to some of the more remote places in Istria, he responded that he would love to show me his country. I was a little wary about meeting him — but I knew the minute I met him that everything was okay. My new online pal drove me around Istria and showed me things few tourists see.
• I collect little pins from places I’ve been and display them on my favorite travel hat. When I’m on the road, the hat gets piles of attention. People comment, want to look at it closely, and ask which pin was from my home city. I bring a few pins from my home, which I give as gifts to new friends.
• I volunteer for my local sheriff’s office, and I’ve recently started collecting police-uniform patches. On my last trip I took several patches from home to swap with local law-enforcement agencies. Everywhere I went, I visited the police, who were glad to swap patches. I built my collection and I made a lot of new friends!
• Try to speak their language. After a seemingly futile attempt to communicate in French, many of the locals would laugh and switch to English and we were fine. The French appreciated our efforts (and we learned as we went).
• We made personal business cards on our computer and passed these out to people we met as we traveled. Today we still receive e-mail from folks we met. It’s great to be remembered and to still keep in touch.
• Find a good international pen-pal website (I used Penpal International at http://ppi.searchy .net) and meet people from all over the world. Now I have places to go and people to see next time I’m in Europe.
• Rick’s 3-in-1 German, Italian, and French phrase book was my best friend during a recent three-month adventure throughout Europe. I quickly learned that one of the most important phrases was, “Which is your favorite dish/cheese/wine/etc.?” By asking this in restaurants and open-air markets, it shows an interest in the local menu and respect for the waiter or vendor and his opinion. The usual result: a great dish, and friendly conversation to boot.
• Join a club, seek out weekend soccer teams, go to town meetings, visit public swimming pools, shop in small markets, attend school concerts and sporting events, go to nightclubs, attend personal appearances and book-signings in bookstores, track down travel slide shows, go to church, use public transportation, use local barbers/hairdressers, buy from small vintners — there are many low-key ways to meet locals. Be courteous, inquisitive, and willing to participate when appropriate. Show people you are interested in them and their lives, not just the tourist traps, and your trip suddenly becomes more meaningful.
• One of the best ways to meet locals is to bring children with you! We took our two kids for two months around Europe. We did something we would never do in the States, and it worked like a charm: We bribed them. We told them if someone told us how well-behaved or polite they were, they would get the equivalent of $3. We didn’t realize how great our kids could be! They discovered right away that saying “please” and “thank you” in the local language, smiling, and saying “good day,” earned them a smile and a pat on the head. The money actually became a secondary reward, and they worked harder at learning how to say foreign words and make connections with locals than we did.
• Before a trip overseas, go to your local chamber of commerce/hospitality association/ tourist board, and they will usually give you small flags or lapel pins of your state to give away to friends you make in your travels.
• I break barriers by complimenting people and stating (in the local language) when I like something. In a restaurant in Croatia, I saw the cook and said, “Dobro” — Croatian for good. Soon the entire staff was smiling at me, and when I left an hour later I felt more like a friend than just another tourist.
• The best thing I did to strike up conversation with locals was to sew my state flag’s patch to my pack. So many people of all nationalities asked me what it was.
• Along with “please” and “thank you” it is really useful to learn to say, in the local language, “You have a beautiful country. We are having a wonderful time.” Say it over and over. You will be happy and so will everyone else.
• I notice that whenever I attempt a few words of the local language, the people I’m speaking to are always more open and willing to share great “insider” information with me.
• Food is truly universal, so if possible, I ask questions about what I’m eating, how it’s made, if it’s a personal favorite, and so on. Locals appreciate my genuine interest in their food and cultures and seem delighted to explain the “special ingredient” that makes their dish so good. A great souvenir is bringing the recipe of a favorite place home.
• In Germany, I shared a bench along the river with an older German lady. We sat in silence for a few minutes until three very good-looking men jogged past on the path. I looked at her, looked at the guys, raised my eyebrows, and said, “Yummm.” She laughed, nodded her head, and the ice was broken. We had a fun chat and agreed to meet again the next day. When I showed up, she had brought a German dessert to share with me.
• Wherever you go, do something local — like a flea market. This is a great way to mingle with the locals (and see what they shop for).
• Before a recent trip to Paris, I accidentally stuck a picture of my dog in the book I was reading. When we got to our hotel, the picture fell out, and I instantly learned I had a great conversation starter. For the rest of the trip, I was showing off my dog like a proud parent. Love of animals is an international language!
• Here’s one good way to meet the locals in England: Ask to photograph their dogs! All last summer in England I was on a self-appointed mission to photograph as many Jack Russell terriers as I could. Dog owners love to show off their dogs, demonstrate their best tricks, and tell stories.
• With four of us traveling together, we knew we were at a disadvantage when it came to “mingling with the locals.” To make sure that we did get to have stories to relate over dinner, we separated several times during the day.
• Remember, the locals you meet are individuals, not tourist attractions who cease to exist when you put away your camera.