Etiquette & Customs
It is customary to greet shop keepers in France with a friendly, "Bon Jour." (And it’s rude not to.) When visiting someone's home in Scandinavia you are expected to remove your shoes - so be sure to wear clean socks! Experienced travelers have learned these - and many more - valuable lessons about customs and etiquette through their travels. Please share your knowledge, experience and tips here.
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We've just returned from Austria/Germany and stayed in small hotels and pensions. It is customary to greet your fellow guests when you arrive and depart. It's a wonderful way to be connected, and leads to interesting conversations.
Susan Emily
Prince George, BC USA 10/30/2008
Frebch culture
Contrary to popular opinion, the French are not arrogant, nor haughty, nor dismissive of Americans. They are friendly, gracious and unfailingly courteous. Most Parisians speak English, at least that was our experience, but I also learned a bit of French before we went and they seemed to appreciate that. One of our travelling companions expected American culture in France and was disappointed in that part of the trip. Her loss.
Hint: Bonjour is pronounced "bone-jhoor", not "bonjer". Merci is "mare-see", not "mercy", and they are said frequently. Every time I heard those I cringed, and the speaker got what they deserved. let yourself be French. It's wonderful!
Tom Iarossi <email>
San Diego, CA USA 06/04/2008
High School French class- 20 years later!
I did just fine with high school French in Paris. I said hello and thank you alot and smiled at everyone. I knew the words for "I do not understand" and "I have need of" as well as food names.
I always began a question with "I speak only a little French but I would like to try" said in French, of course and I found people to be very patient. One waiter corrected my French, but complimented my accent!
ARL
Atlanta, GA USA 05/29/2008
Water in German restaurants
It is not customary to get water automatically with your meal when dining in a German restaurant. You have to order it. But if you simply order water "Wasser" you'll receive a bottle of sparkling water and will be charged for it. Germans just love their bubbles in water. You have to ask specifically for "Stilles Wasser" (bottled water with no bubbles, also for a charge) or "Leitungswasser" (tap water, usually free) if you prefer that over the bubbly version. The latter might get you a bewildered look from the waiter, though.
Beatrix <email>
Calgary, Canada 03/29/2008
Paris
A good book to have with you....read it before you go to Paris... is "Savior Flair" by Polly Platt...it is a hoot! But also full of good tips to not insult the local Parisians! It has been out for a few years so you can probably get it used from Amazon or Powells in Portland or Alibris (both good for used books)
mollie <email>
camano island, WA USA 02/06/2008
Ugly Sneakers Make You Stick Out Everywhere
I just wanted to respond to some of Karen's comments about what she learned on her European travels in 2007 - mostly that some of her comments apply to any cosmopolitan city in the Western World. For example - in response to 1 &2 I live in NYC, and women here have a uniform - black, black, black and maybe jeans. Also, it's not sensible shoes that are not in fashion, it's ugly shoes that are not in fashion. There are all sorts of comfortable and attractive alternatives to running sneakers. Wearing running shoes in NYC makes you stick out like a tourist too.
Also - not every Italian speaks English, but unlike many other European countries, they are much more likely to try to help you anyways and not treat you like dirt.
UES Lawyer Girl
New York, NY USA 01/22/2008
Gruss Gott in Bavaria only
Greet shopkeepers or fellow diners with "Gruss Gott" (groos got) in Bavaria, Germany. A word to the wise - this only applies in Bavaria. Saying it elsewhere is like walking into an upscale NYC botique and saying "Howdy, y'all!" you'll sound backwards and out of place. Everywhere else the traditional "Guten tag!" or "Allo" does nicely.
Alicia
MD USA 11/21/2007
Waiting for a check
In Mexico, as in many countries, they do not give you a check until you ask for it as they do not want to appear to be in a hurry to get you out of the restaurant. It is considered hospitable to allow you all the time you need to dine and chat or whatever, and they assume you will ask for the check when you are ready to leave. I think this is preferable to the way many establishments in the US do it, but table turnover makes money, I guess. I know of no place where it is considered rude to ask for your check when you are ready to go.
L. Gunderson
Portland, OR USA 09/01/2007
Lessons Learned from Our Europe 2007 Travels.
We made an effort to try to NOT stand out as Americans, but found we just missed the mark:
1. European women do not wear patterned clothing overall. So forget the brightly patterned shirts...never Hawaiian!
2. Sensible shoes are not in fashion in Europe, so there is no hope of fitting in there unless you like walking for miles in stilletos.
3. Avoid ATMs at train stations. Americans are being watched, followed and often targetted by the pick pockets. (We were!)
4. Italians do not speak any English, prepare!
5. French are no ruder as a whole than any other country. People are people.
6. Rick Steve's sleeping recommendations are awesome. Stayed at many recommended low cost sites in multiple Western European countries, please with all of them except 1.
7. Pack Light is not emphasized enough! Leave room for souvenirs so you don't have to buy an extra bag and tote it around!
8. We did not have an international cell, I would recommend this if you plan your own travels. But one can work around this as many internet and call centers can be found in the major cities and train stations.
Karen Burns <email>
Countryside, il USA 07/30/2007
Attempting French in Paris
I don't speak any French and went to Paris for 4 days. I took my Rick Steves book w/ me and I learned some phrases to get by like hello, where is ___, etc. I found that if you TRY to speak french the people in Paris are very friendly and will hear your american accent and speak english back to you or get someone who speaks it.
The most important phrase is learn how to say "I don't speak French" in French. I said this when people started talking "at" me in french and they switched to english or if they didn't know it, they smiled and tried to get by on gestures. They only get frustrated and rude if they're rude people (which we have here in the US too) or if you are rude and start speaking english to them and get frustrated when there's a language barrier. I mean after all, we're the ones that don't know THEIR language...just tell them you don't speak french and laugh about it later, it's just another traveling experience.
Laura
Chicago, USA 07/23/2007
French waiters
French waiters. All of our experiences outside of Paris were lovely, so it was a bit of a shock to be sneared at by a handful of the waiters in Paris. I've been to France on 3 other occasions, but this one took the cake. All of this was because I didn't speak French flawlessly. I'd recommend, when in Paris, to try English first. That way, you can enjoy the meal.
Barbara
Seattle, WA USA 07/17/2007
Waiting for a Check
Waiting for a check for a long time really depends on the culture of the country. In Austria, where I am currently spending a semester abroad, it is completely and totally acceptable to spend an entire afternoon at a cafe after only ordering a cup of coffee. Most times, if you're in a rush, just catch your waiter or waitress' eye like you would in the States, and they'll come over. Or better yet, learn the local "key phrases," which definitely help out when you need something quicker than normal.
Amanda
Currently Vienna, 04/30/2007
Unwelcome surprises
This is quite disturbing. Could you expand on which country ( countries ) and possibly which cities ? I would class bringing unordered items and charging for them as a very real scam. I have seen this in both Athens and Prague and it stinks. On the other hand it is not uncommon for a restaurant to give you an extra item ( often a local liqueur or locally grown fruit ) as a *thank you* for your custom, but this always occurs after the bill has been paid.
Having to wait more than 20 minutes for the check is just bad service and you would be doing us all a favour if you could tell us where this occurred so that we know where to avoid. Sadly the standards of Restaurant service varies greatly in different parts and countries in Europe but nobody should ever be charged for items they did not order.
Al Bishop
Nottingham, UK 04/11/2007
In Holland
I'm an American currently living in the Netherlands and have had my fair share of interesting surprises when dining is involved. First of all, if you want or expect ice in your drink, you must ask for it. In the rare instances that ice is provided, it will only be 2 or 3 tiny cubes (along the lines of what you get in a fast food soft drink).
Unfortunately, Americans have been conditioned to think that when they sit down to eat or place an order, a waiter should be at their table within minutes. However, the Dutch are extremely laid back people and take their time and also letting customers take their time as well. In my personal experience at any given restaurant in America, I will pass time by looking at the menu. However, in Holland, the waiter will not approach you until after you are done looking at the menu (this means you've closed the menu and placed it on the table) as this signals to them that you are ready to order. So without thinking, if you stroll over the menu after you have decided what you want, don't be surprised if the wait staff takes a while before approaching your table.
The only thing that still "annoys" me is the fact that you have to pay extra for even the smallest of condiments. Granted they range between €,35 and €,75 so it's never that expensive, it still just urks me at times because it's just something that you'd never have to pay for in America. Interesting? Yes. Deal breaker? Not hardly; just something different is all.
Because I live here versus just visiting, I have come to experience firsthand the differences in etiquette and customary behavior. I could list off a hundred different things, but I don't want to go overboard and possibly step on any toes. In the end, Holland is a fabulous country to not just visit, but also live. While I'll always be a proud American and never give that up, I have learned to appreciate non-America things and ways and there are many ways of life that America would greatly benefit from adopting into our own culture.
Lonna <email>
Amersfoort, Netherlands 04/11/2007
French culture
My French teacher suggested that I read "French or Foe" before going to France. Why are the French so obnoxious? They are not, in terms of their own culture, which is suprisingly different from ours. This book explains how French culture differs from ours, and how to modify your behavior and expectations to get along happily with the French.
Brooke Jennings
Salt Lake City, UT USA 04/11/2007
Unwelcome surprises
There are two stories I would like to share about eating at restuarants:
1)It seems like someone would have warned me before I got to Europe that you have to ask for the check at the end of the meal (as I discovered after waiting almost 2 hours after my meal was over). I made a rule of asking for my check when the waiter takes away my food, even if they are a little insultued. You dont want to spend your entire day or night at a restuarant trying to track down your waiter.
2)When you are a young american girl, you may sometimes be served extra things with your meal you did not order(i.e. desert)and then be expected to pay for it. Which much to your dismay you will, because the staff was so excited to practice thier english with you and show you how friendly they are.
Minneapolis, MN USA 04/07/2007
How to act abroad
Do not expect everything to be like home. If you think everything will be like home then you might as well stay home. You are expected to respect the culture. Do not complain if something is not going your way. If you want something be polite and don't be the"dirty American". Don't pay extra for the hotel breakfast instead go to a local cafe and you can sit for hours. I do this in my hometown and have found to meet many nice people.
It's nice to speak to someone and do it in the local language. I have learned French from my mother and grandmother while I don't speak it perfectly I can get by. I have spoken French to the Air France reservation agent and they were amazed. If you make a mistake they will understand and help you.
Always say hello"Bonjour" or Au Revoir" when entering and leaving any establishment. Remember that you are a guest and the country is the host. Just think how Prince Charles would act in France.
Daniel Onn
Saratpga, CA USA 02/10/2007
Additional Czech Rep comments
In addition to Kathy's comments, I would like to point out that visiting in Czech Republic vs USA is very different, as I too visit with my husband's family and friends there. Most of my co-workers here in the USA don't understand why we don't just have everyone come to where we are staying. I've found over many years of visits, hospitality is very important to the Czechs. They would literally give the shirt off their back for us if they thought we needed it. Its a matter of honor for them to house, feed, and share drinks with their guests. Staying at a hotel is absolutely out of the question in their minds. They'll always make room for visitors. We stayed at a hotel only once, and all the relatives were very upset about it when they found out, so we never did that again.
Don't even think about eating before coming over as there's always food. The first question asked is "do you want something to eat?" instead of the American "how are you?", many times with food tray of open face sandwiches already being presented. Don't even think of saying you've already eaten next door - just try to eat some of what's offered with a thank you. In each family's mind their cooking is better than anyone else's and they already know you ate, but are competing in "who can take care of their guest better". In many cases, they will give you a care package of food when leaving, even if you are only driving 30 mins down the road to the next relative's house.
We always make sure to bring gifts from America to each household & they always have a Czech gift to take with us.
Be prepared to a drinking fest each night after dinner. These folks love their pivo, plum brandy, and herbal liquor and want to share a good time with their guests. The beer and doubleshots keep coming into the early hours of the morning, even if some of them have to work the next day. The next morning they kindly have hangover pills if needed.
One interesting thing I've found is the Czechs prefer their bath or shower at night before they go to bed. They think its weird to go to bed dirty and can't understand why many American's clean up in the morning. Many times the boiler in the basement isn't stoked up with wood or coal anyway in the morning yet, so it makes sense to bathe at night when the water will stay hot longer.
Kotyza
CA USA 01/25/2007
Czech Republic etiquette
In 7/05 my husband and I spent 2&1/2 wks visiting his Czech cousins. A couple of things to be aware of. When visiting someone's home, you are expected to remove your shoes. One thing that is nice,the homes that we visited had slip on sandals or slippers for you to use. If you are invited for coffee or even a visit, be prepared to eat. They will bring out anything from small sandwiches,cheese, pastries, to a full meal. We once had three lunches in one day, all relatives and they all lived next door to each other. Each house we went to we had to eat something. In Moravia (Southern Czech Republic) the traditional drink they bring out is called Slivovitz (plum brandy). So you get a shot of brandy and some very good coffee.
Kathy <email>
Scottsdale, AZ USA 01/14/2007
Waiting for meals in restaurants in the UK
I’m sorry Becky but what you experienced is simply unacceptable. British restaurant staff aren’t as used to customers complaining as much as they should do and so they often get complacent ( which is a polite way of saying some of them couldn’t give a fig ). I wish you had called one of them over and calmly asked for either your food order or the manager to appear in the next three minutes.
I sincerely hope you didn’t leave a tip and if you care to post which restaurants they were we’d all be obliged and we’ll make a note to avoid them in future.
Al Bishop
Nottingham, UK 01/04/2007
Waiting for meals in restaurants in the UK
On our most recent trip to the UK, we found that it's best not to expect to be served in the order seated, or you're likely to be disappointed. Allow lots of time. Twice in a few days, we were served well after those who sat down more than 30 minutes after us-- and we hadn't ordered anything special (once, it was the soup of the day). In both cases, the restaurants were not crowded when we came in, but were crowded 15 minutes later. We learned it's best to chill out and just relax and anticipate (and enjoy) the wait, and not to wait to dine until we're starving. Interestingly, have experienced this only in the UK, but not in Italy, France, Germany, Switzerland, or Austria.
Becky <email>
San Jose, ca USA 01/01/2007