Helpline Question of the Month:
How to be a polite non-drinker in Europe?
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Good times in Europe are often portrayed as revolving around a drink, a bottle, a pint, or even just a wee dram. Abigail from Bay City wonders, should a non-drinking traveler feel awkward in these settings? How can one say no to offers of drinks without being seen as the pooper of the party?
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"I do not drink alcohol for personal reasons, though I have no problem if others around me are consuming it. I hope to do some traveling through Europe. If someone sends a drink to my table in Italy, or if I'm grabbing dinner at an Irish pub and someone asks me to drink with them or buys me a drink, How can I respond gracefully, without offending anyone, and without automatically setting off a huge discussion about my personal experiences and beliefs? Any advice would be appreciated! Thank you!"
Abigail
Bay City
Ed
Pensacola
Say "No thank you"?
Then add: "I earnestly feel that people who partake of alcohol are sons of the devil and bound to rot for eternity."
You'll get a laugh, make friends, and then you can drink whatever you want.
Anne
Champaign, IL
Just say, "I'll have a Coke" or whatever you want to drink. You don't owe anyone an explanation. I personally don't really like the taste of alcohol, but I've never had a problem just simply saying what I want to drink. If someone asks, just tell them that you don't enjoy alcohol, but you don't have any objection to others drinking. If you don't make a big deal about it, then it's not likely they will, either.
Terry kathryn
Whitmore Lake, MI
Just say you're allergic...then watch some of the rest of them make a fool of themselves...
Jo
Frankfurt, Germany
All you need to do is order what you prefer to drink. I don't think people send drinks to tables, though the owners of small restaurants may sometimes send a small after dinner liqueur to their guests, on the house. All you need to do is say no thank you. I can't imagine people will bug you about this, let alone even want to discuss it.
You would be surprised how many people are also not drinking alcohol, either for religious reasons, personal reasons or simply because they are driving. The drunk driving laws are stricter here. There are lots of lovely juices to drink here too, so give them a try.
Randy
Minneapolis, MN
Abigail,
Like you, I do not drink for personal reasons. And, however naive it may have been, I was a little concerned before my first trip years ago. So far I am at 121 days in Europe (not consecutively) and have never been made to feel uncomfortable about it. As with most aspects of life (what you wear, what you eat, etc) people generally don't care as much as we think they might.
Be yourself & enjoy...
Thomas
Vienna, Austria
"Sending drinks" to pretty ladies is not common over here. While beer and wine are almost always present with meals, so far I have never been made to feel self-conscious on those (admittedly rare) occasions when I have opted for sparkling water instead. Handle yourself with confidence and no one will bat an eye.
Kyla
Ypsilanti, MI
It was a high concern for me before my first trip to Europe, too, but ten years and many European trips later, the only time I've been made to feel uncomfortable for being a non-drinker in Europe was when I was on a Rick Steves tour of Ireland, surrounded by Americans who couldn't understand why I didn't want any Bailey's Irish Cream. On my own, it's not ever been an issue. When I was in Togo, West Africa, though . . .
Tom
Hüttenfeld, Hessen Germany
Of all the thousands of meals I have eaten in restaurants in Europe, I have been offered drinks by strangers in precisely two occasions: by Russians on 12 September 2001 (mistake, it never ends with one drink with them!), and by some Australian travelers I met in a rowdy Bavarian restaurant, after they saw that I already drank beer. The likelihood that anyone will offer you alcohol with friendly intentions is exceedingly low, and the likelihood that they will be offended is even lower. I would, for the most part, question the intentions of anyone who insists that you must share a drink with them.
ivan
Derby, UK
In most of mainland Europe, tea, coffee and bottled water are as popular in bars and restaurants as alcohol.
My partner is a non drinker and there has never been a problem ordering soft or hot drinks anywhere.
Drink what you want to and enjoy your trip.
Laura
London, UK
I rarely drink (unless a lovely red is in front of me!) and have never found it a problem. I tend to travel solo and I don't think people are that surprised that a lone woman doesn't want a drink. As long as you are confident and comfortable with your decision people will just accept it. I don't think I have ever been at a dinner or event where everyone was drinking. I am starting to get paranoid that no one has ever sent a drink to my table in my life. I must need more make-up! ;o)
susan
aberdeen, uk
They'll ask you what you want - there's a very low tolerance for drunk driving in Europe (zero in some places) - it's common for people not to drink unless they're using public transport, drinking at home, etc.
Eileen
Texan in CA
"I am starting to get paranoid that no one has ever sent a drink to my table in my life. I must need more make-up! ;o)"
Me too, Laura...in fact, I've been driven to drink ;-)
Ceidleh
Boston, MA
In Ireland it's customary to "shout" a round (ie, take turns buying a round of drinks) when hanging out with a group. So if you get to talking to a group of Irish, it would not be unusual for them to put a drink in front of you on the bar or have a waitress bring over a tray of drinks for the entire table. If you don't want it, simply ask the waitress or bartender if you can exchange it for a non-alcoholic drink.
The Irish will not be offended you aren't drinking alcohol; however, they do expect you will take your turn and shout a round for the group even if all you drank was a Coca Cola during the last round.
Shouting rounds is more likely to happen if you are seated at the bar eating your dinner in a pub and you get into a conversation; less likely if you are seated at a table. When you are belly up to the bar, it's assumed you are a drinker in Ireland.
Elaine
Landstuhl, Germany
And speaking from personal experience, if you get a free drink before or after dinner "on the house" your traveling companion will really like it (if they drink) cuz then it's theirs...aah prosecco in Tuscany!! So happy Wanda doesn't drink!
Anna
Seattle, WA
Not every European drinks. Just kindly decline the beverage if offered and say you don't drink alcohol. Or, if you are with a companion who does imbibe, accept and pass on your gift to them.
Offer to buy the offerer a drink if you feel really bad.
Debbie
Sunnyvale, CA
This is not a big issue in the UK or western europe. All you have to do is graciously say no thank you to the alcohol or ask for a soda instead. In central or southern europe (like Czech Rep or Greece) just ask for a soda or mineral water, as it is rude to decline hospitality there. They are OK with it as long as they can serve you some kind of refreshment. If the waiter leaves alcoholic drinks on the table after dinner, just give it to someone you are eating with after the waiter walks away. I've had non-drinkers travel all over with me & there were no problems.
Randy
Minneapolis, MN
While I don't disagree with any of the advice here, I would like to caution anyone to not treat this as a silly question. While hardly anyone will get overtly badgering if you turn down a drink, non-drinkers are constantly being made to feel awkward to some degree or another in a society that makes social drinking a near-requirement for full acceptance. You can't fully appreciate the pervasiveness of alcohol until you've lived years as a non-drinker. Those of us who are comfortable in Europe know that she has nothing major to worry about. It might even be easier to be social without drinking in some places in Europe than in the US. But for someone who doesn't drink and making their first trip - I think it's a legitimate question to ask.
Jo
Frankfurt, Germany
I don't think anyone has treated this question as silly, Randy. All the advice is coming from people that are saying that truly, no one cares in Europe whether you drink or not. Perhaps this is different in the US, but the OP has asked about Europe and this is how things are here. Many of the posts are coming from people who live or have lived here and letting Abigail know that she needn't worry about anything. Hopefully setting her mind at ease.
As a non-drinker myself, I have never been made to feel uncomfortable in any of the countries I have visited nor at any time during the many years of living in Germany. I honestly don't give it a single thought and the subject never even comes up when I go out with friends or work colleagues. It is a non-issue here.
Abigail
Bay City
Thank you all so much for your replies! I have been a little nervous about traveling alone for the first time, and it is GREAT to know that there are so many other wonderful travelers out there ready and willing to offer their help and expertise. I appreciate your kindness. Have a blessed day!
This thread was gently edited for brevity and clarity. Ask your European travel question on the Travelers Helpline.
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