Etiquette & Customs : 2006
It is customary to greet shop keepers in France with a friendly, "Bon Jour." (And it’s rude not to.) When visiting someone's home in Scandinavia you are expected to remove your shoes - so be sure to wear clean socks! Experienced travelers have learned these - and many more - valuable lessons about customs and etiquette through their travels. Please share your knowledge, experience and tips here.
A smile goes a long way
Those of us who have the luxury to travel should really savor it and not waste any precious energy worrying about what someone else is thinking or doing. My first few international trips I was overly concerned with what I was wearing, how I ate, if I was doing the appropriate thing, if I fit in. Eventually, I realized that I am a human being and Germans, Italians, Chinese, ect are also human beings…what more do we need in common! We do not all have the same culture…. but no matter where you travel in the world you will always find that a smile and some common courtesy go a long way. There are jerks all over the planet. It seems to me that an unhappy and closed person will find something negative to complain about no matter where they are!
1)Be yourself . You won’t have fun if you are trying too hard to be something you are not. We are all human beings and no one expects you to act perfect while abroad.
2)If you meet a jerk..let it go! Not everyone single person in a country can be horrible.
3)Travel is all about learning. You have to make yourself uncomfortable sometimes to grow.
Marie <email>
CA USA Mon 10/23/2006
pint/ half pint
I often have a pint and then want a half pint SAY you can use the same glass often they give you 3/4 pint since you saved them one glass to wash no big deal just little fun tip
John Brangwin <email>
Bellevue, WA USA Mon 10/23/2006
We all enjoy the Differences
I love that things are different in Europe than they are where I live. And I realize that I might not appreciate those things or find them quite as "quaint" if I lived there day in and day out. But yes, the wonderful thing about traveling is that it IS different and we get to experience that difference and, hopefully, enjoy it. We have good friends who live in London. When we visit them we are always raving over how wonderful the transportation system is, how you don't need a car, how great to have small shops just down the street and not have to go to mega-stores all the time, and we also love the vibrancy of the crowded "big city life". They, on the other hand, LOVE "big American cars", love going to the big malls to get everything at once, love the large living spaces. I'm not sure that either family would trade places forever but we each enjoy the other's home country when we visit.
Karen
Atlanta, GA USA Mon 10/23/2006
Hear, Hear
Al: You have hit the nail on the head. If someone wishes to have things just the way there are at home ... then stay home and you will probably be happier. We travel BECAUSE of the differences. To learn something and to really experience things, it is usually necessary to get out of your comfort zone. It's just too bad that people choose to nitpick about the way things are done in other countries. I say let's celebrate the differences and learn from each other.
Carol
Clearwater, FL USA Mon 10/23/2006
Things are going to be different.
This is really difficult to write but I think there needs to be a sense of proportion here. If we're getting down to the level of bagging groceries then we may have lost some sense of the real benefits of foriegn travel. The vast majority of us Europeans genuinely welcome visitors from other countries and it's not just to do with the revenue tourism creates. I'm very proud of my country and I really want you to enjoy it and find it an enriching experience but if you are going to be disapointed because we do things differently to the way things are done in the USA then in all honesty you have to ask yourself what you hope to achieve by spending your hard earned dollars outside of the USA. This of course is not a situation in which Americans have a monopoly. There are plenty of Britons who complain that other countries are not like Britain, Germans who complain about things not being like Germany etc. The point about foriegn travel is that you go to experience and even celebrate the diversity of humanity. You don't go overseas to criticise the standard of grocery service, or if you do I think you've sort of missed the point of the whole thing.
Al Bishop
Nottingham, UK Mon 10/23/2006
Bagging groceries
I found the comment about about how awful Germans were making you bag your own groceries highly amusing. That's pretty stand all over Europe. I lived in Spain for 6 months and have spent tons of time living in apartments in Paris where I always bagged my groceries. I actually kind of miss not doing it here at home. The original poster may simply not have done her homework well enough to expect it although in all fairness I've never read a guide book that mentioneed that this is customary.
Daneal
Tucson, AZ USA Sun 10/22/2006
I see Susanne didn't just love everything about Europe so that makes her ignorarant. How absurd. She is just writing about her experiences in Germany and she is not obligated to like everything about Germany/Europe. Plenty of Europeans don't hesitate to criticize the States and she was responding to one such European critic of the States.
MT
USA Wed 10/18/2006
German Customer Service
A couple of posters have mentioned the lack of grocery bagging as an example of poor customer service. You may have heard that Wal-Mart is pulling out of Germany because they were loosing money. Guess which one of Wal-Mart’s practices turned a lot of Germans off? Clerks bagging their groceries! And besides, which is more environmentally friendly – using a plastic bag over and over again, or clogging up the landfill with plastic bags made from imported oil, or cutting down trees to make throw away paper bags??
I have s few examples of good customer service in Germany. This past spring my wife and I spent three nights in Cochem on the Mosel. The night before our departure I asked the hotel owner if I could arrange for a taxi in the morning. I told him we needed the taxi at 6AM in order to catch a 7AM train. Besides taking care of that, he also insisted on packing us a lunch bag for the next day! Oh! And the taxi was exactly on time and the driver loaded and unloaded our suitcases.
When we arrived in Rothenburg, we again called a taxi. Turns out the driver had been to the states and talked the whole way about Harley-Davidson motorcycles. He cheerfully handled our luggage. At the Pension, the owner’s father, an elderly man, insisted on carrying our suitcases up the stairs to our room, despite my protestations.
At the Käthe Wohlfahrt store, we wanted to buy six wine glasses, but they only had five. The clerk called the other store to see if they had any. They did, and she ran over and brought another back
Even though I speak German, we were offered English menus in many restaurants after the wait staff heard us speaking English. (actually, that got a little aggravating. I didn’t like the presumption that we spoke no German).
Yes, the Germans are good rule followers and they expect everyone to follow them. Heck! I got yelled at when I started to cross a street outside of the designated crossing zone. But you know what? They were right – and I was wrong. Simple as that. Just as pedestrians are expected to cross at the proper place, drivers must yield to pedestrians. Seems fair to me.
You can be treated well or badly anywhere. But judging an entire country by a few personal experiences is not fair.
Steve
Richmond, VA USA Tue 10/17/2006
Interested in learning why people act as they do.
I must be a freak! I've never had a problem with either the French or the Germans! Have been to Paris about 7 times. Lived 2 years in Stuttgart, and am now living in Austria. People marvel at the "honor system" on public transit, at the extremely low crime rates and at how clean the country is. With these benefits comes the flip side of the coin: people follow rules and expect you to do the same. Its how they maintain their clean and safe society. Germans are certainly cool at first, but they warm up when you get to know them. Have I met rude people in Europe? Yes. But I usually shrug it off and assume they were having a bad day. I do the same when I meet rude people in New York and Chicago. No society is perfect. (Funny thing: yes, customer service is well behind the U.S., but you get used to it. I was back in the States not too long ago and was frightened to the point of jumping when an employee approached me from behind in a Safeway and asked if they could help me find something!)Learning to cope is one of the challenges of travel. If I wasn't interested in figuring out how Europeans think, I would have been better off staying on my couch in California. Let's not let this string degenerate into a description of every instance when anyone has "dissed" us. Life's too short!
Expat from California
Sun 10/15/2006
German living
I've been living in Germany (Bavaria) for over a year now. There are many wonderful things about living here and many fallbacks. On the positive side, I feel very safe. I enjoy the fresh air, the clean & beautiful city of Munich, the bike paths, biergartens, wooded trails, access to the alps and easy European travel.
Now for the negatives, I have travel to over 16 countries and the Germans are by far the rudest, most inconsiderate and least friendly by far. While they have mastered the skill of cutting in lines, they do not have a clue about customer service; it just doesn't exist! The Germans do not think twice about telling you (not politely) about things they feel that you've done wrong (I've been told to take my dog off the lease...not to have ice in my drink because it's too cold out...to buy a small plastic bag for the groceries that I have and not the big one that I chose to buy...to turn my engine off because I stopped for a few minutes). Now if you do have a dog traveling with you, you will actually see a German smile...they just love dogs!
I was unfortunate to have my car break down in front of an apartment's parking garage. Cars would drive up within a foot of my car, slam on the horn, while waving their hands and yelling at me. When I told them that my car is broken, they told me to puah the car out of the way! When I asked for help, they realized that they could squeeze around me to get in the garage without a helping hand. After six people and two hours later, a man helped me push my car four feet.
Of course we have also met some nice Germans but in general they are not the warmest, most welcoming people.
Lorraine
New Jersey - living in Germany, USA Sun 10/15/2006
Germany - visit but don't stay too long
I have to beg to differ about the comment one person named Andreas in Germany made about life being so "comfortable". I found life in Germany to be generally on a lower standard of living than what I was accustomed to in the States. The far majority of people lived in cramped two or three room flats. There is no real customer service in Germany. Clerks do not bag your goods, and even after you pay for a bag, it is often just hurled at you. At restaurants, the food was often just thrown on the table so that food splattered onto the table as well. I often wondered how those people could travel to such wonderful places in the world and then return to a cramped two room apartment and be happy with it. This is not my idea of living prosperous. I found Europe to be loud, noisy, and crowded. Its a nice place to visit that is full of wonderful history, but I can see why so many Europeans want to move to the U.S.A.! Also, one more note. Enjoy your time in Germany when visiting castles and the Oktoberfest, but don't even think about staying there. The people can change and become very nasty once they see that you are working in a job that they think a German should have. In fact, they think that all jobs should only go to Germans. I found many Germans to be jealous of Americans which is the exact opposite what what a person from Germany posted here. I would like to know what their priorities are. Americans like to enjoy family life with friends, but we also like to maintain a certain standard of living as well; and living in two rooms for a lifetime is not the American dream. Then again, take up the advice of the guy named Andreas' that made a post on 09/15/2006. You will see after the veneer wears off in a couple of years, to what I am referring to.
Good luck and may the force be with you!
Susanne
USA Fri 10/13/2006
Fashion II
Just like in America, the clothing in Europe is now mostly made in China. The items mentioned were probably all made at the same factory outside of Shanghai. Some made it to France for sale, some to the local mall. I am not necessarily blaming China: they want/need more jobs just like we want/need more jobs. However, I regret the result that regions are losing their distinct, interesting, spicey identity and we are all becoming part of a large, bland universal commercial culture.
Lost in Europe
Thu 10/12/2006
Fashion
Prior to leaving for my trip to France, I went to a discount department store and bought several new items of clothing. I traveled to Paris and Lyon. I wore a cute embroidered linen skirt with a crochet top. When i got to Lyon, I saw that exact same top in a boutique and similar skirts in Paris. For far more money than I paid. Though the french girls were much thinner, I don't think we are that far behind in fashion.
Lorretta <email>
Houston, TX USA Wed 10/11/2006
Americans: Be Respectful
We just returned from our 2nd trip to France. One thing that I was very dissappointed in was how some, not all, Americans I encountered there acted in public and at dinners. Please, remember when visiting any country, be humble and respectfull of not only the country you visit but the country you are from. At one of the 4 Star Restaurants we dined at, were some other Americans acting foolish, speaking loudly on how they were embarrassed to be Americans and publicly bashing the President. It's fine to have your opinion, but why would someone perpetuate stereotypes of Americans and further give us a bad name internationally. No matter where we travel abroad, we never speak politics nor offer opinions of such matters.
Remember: Put People before Politics when you travel and you will experience the culture in a more fulfilling way. If you must voice your opinions, talk sports or food and you will get all the discussion you want.
Paul
Los Angeles, CA USA Mon 10/09/2006
Italian hand gestures explained
Here is an entertaining video about Italian hand gestures, how to recognize their meaning and how to avoid those that may offend somebody.
http://www.ItalyFromTheInside.com
Paolo Tosolini <email>
Bellevue, WA USA Mon 10/09/2006
Let's Not Generalize ...
Without resorting to blanket generalizations and name callling, why don't we all agree to be the most polite travelers that we can be? Learn a few words local language, enjoy all the unique moments you will have, be patient, and most of all, UNDERSTAND that you are not in your home. You are a GUEST in someone else's home... so act that way.
Always Polite
USA Mon 10/09/2006
I think it depends upon which type of Americans. The loudness mainly comes from loud mouthed New Yorkers and people from New Jersey and up North. These people talk ten times too loud in their nasal NOO YAWK accents. They're pushy, uncouth, whiny and are really annoying here in the US so they certainly don't change when they go abroad. We have tons of them that have come into my state. I realize they're not the only ones, some over enthusiastic young people as well as others can be loud also but they(northerners) are the main culprits. Tone it down NOO YAWKERS.
Kelly
USA Sun 10/08/2006
another on loud americans...
I recently got back from a trip to Italy and have to agree with those who said Americans tend to be much louder than Europeans.
My most pointed example was on the bus along the Amalfi coast from Sorrento to Positano. All around me Europeans were murmuring into cellphones (the rates must be *really* cheap!) but you could barely hear them. But 5 or 6 rows back was a woman reading out loud to her traveling companion about he sights we were seeing, a voice that everyone on the bus had no option but to share. And it was Rick's Italy book, BTW, because I had just read the same chapter the night before taking the bus. Maybe Rick should print a caveat against reading the book out-loud at full throttle in the book!
But plenty of other examples. On a train, for example, I couldn't help but hear a 10-minute conversation from a lady at the other *end* of the car about how she had sent this email to Bev, hadn't hear back yet, blah, blah, blah. Or the lady 3 tables over at a dinner in Cortona regaling her companions in a voice they filled the restaurant (I learned that "Jim is a hell of a guy", a phrase she seemed fond of repeating).
In short, time and again I'd be in a restaurant, on a train, on a bus, and its the loud voice speaking English that filled the place.
Mike
San Jose, CA USA Fri 09/29/2006
everyday dining etiquette
Back to the P&Qs....
This might have been listed, but I've lived here for over 15 years and still have to remind myself...
While dinig, your hands must not be placed in your laps, it is considered very RUDE to place them down there, and actually, if you think about it makes sense. Fold hands and rest wrists just over the table edge. After dinner I find myself leaning back while resting my hands on the table, so I'll order a coffee beverage and cradle that to keep those hands up there and keep my posture forward.
Here's some more dining tips: the everyday restaurant usually doesn't have flatwear placed on the tables (theft), they will give you one set when you order, if you have a salad / soup entree than make sure to not leave your knife and fork on the plate as it is carried away, or make sure the service will bring you new ones. Also be careful not to place your flatware together on your plate 'closing the hour/minute hands' -unless your are done, it is a signal to the waitstaff that your are done and they can remove your plate.
Anne
Germany Mon 09/18/2006
Kinda like siblings
As usual, this discussion thread has raised some good issues. After living here for 3 years (and working and socializing daily with a very international group from all over Europe), I think that people are indeed appreciative of U.S. sacrifices in WWII and of the Marshal Plan. Last year (2005) was the 50th anniversary of Austria gaining independence again and having its constitution signed after a period of "4 men in a jeep", when Vienna was partitioned like Berlin. There were a lot of commemerations. And, I must say, the demonstrations of love and appreciation for the U.S. was great. I wish that spirit of appreciation and solidarity could be bottled! I loved it. On a more cultural side: in this part of Europe my wife and I are facinated that American Country Music is so well loved and appreciated. At a Fasching Parade the first year we were here, we were amazed to see a float blaring country music with Line Dancers on it and a big American flag above. All Austrians. And there was an appreciative round of applause as it went by. There's also an immitation "Tennessee country music" night club down the street from us!Many many Austrians and Germans have visited America and always tell me about the great experiences they have had. If you saw the 50th anniversary of D-Day a few years back, you may have been as moved as I to see the appreciation and sense of linked destiny between Europeans and Americans. So, on the one hand, I would politely disagree that Europeans don't appreciate what America has done. However, its a complicated relationship. Europeans would point out that on a "per capita basis", European governments spend much more on 3rd world development than does the U.S. However, it is generally "off the radar screen" that the U.S. subsidizes European security. I think I can generalize and say that most (but not all) Europeans dislike President Bush and company. They think the war in Iraq was unnecessary and is only throwing gasoline on the fire of terrorism. They are concerned about Iran acquiring WMD, but they are also afraid of the consequences of military unilateralism by the U.S. --being closer to the middle east they are nervous about increased illegal immigration and more terrorist attacks in Europe. They are willing to give diplomacy more time on this particular issue. They themselves are not sure when the time-limit for talk will run out. It is a discussion in which reasonable people can reasonably disagree. But --I have to say-- in discussions on these and many other issues, I have never been personally attacked or insulted for being American. Basic respect is always there. Over all, my impression is that we are like siblings in a family: not necessarilly agreeing with each other's every word, but certainly having respect and appreciation for each other. One reporters opinion! Best regards and happy travels!
Thomas
Vienna, Austria Sun 09/17/2006
Andreas and others
I've been to Europe many times, and I've greatly appreciated the beautiful scenery, friendly people, awe-inspiring museums and excellent food, and by no means do I think anyone is "backwards." I just appreciate my country for what it is and what it has accomplished. We've done a great deal for vast numbers of people in this country and around the world, and we're never going to be appreciated for it. The food, the doctors, the rescue teams rushing into places like Iran, picking up so much of the tab for European security...it just doesn't matter.
I like Europe, but when I listen to all the harping about diplomacy, I also remember that 55 million people died in Europe in just the last 100 years due to wars and dictators.
Having said that, I am planning another trip to Italy so it's not us vs. them by any means. If it were, I'd stay home and hit New York City.
Susan
Atlanta, GA USA Sat 09/16/2006
Charles M . Luther
I first went to Europe in 1951 at 15 years of age. There was still much distruction visable. To see it now one immediately realizes the vitality, intelligence and modernity of the Europeans. Could we have done so well? I'm not so sure. But one thing I am sure about. There are many, many ways in which Europe is more modern, more technologically advanced, more sophisticated and more pleasant than the US. No, I don't think they "have us beat" but then I don't look at it as a competition. America is certainly the Rome of our day, or the Paris or London or wherever. But remember, it is ROME, ITALY that you are comparing it too. Don't be so smug, my fellow Americans. You might learn something.
USA Fri 09/15/2006
Europe is great
I agree with Andreas! I have been to England, France and Italy and have been amazed by how wonderful they were -- and I long to visit other European countries and experience more wonderful cultures. I know I could live in there with no problem at all. Some Americans need to get over the idea that every other place in the world is backward or somehow lacking compared to us. Not true.
BG
San Francisco, CA USA Fri 09/15/2006
Please come live in Europe for a while. You'll find it pleasant! We are happy with our lifestyle. We are not jealous. Our priorities are different, that is all. Please don't enterpret political squabbles as reflecting how we feel about Americans. We like you fine! I am not going to enter into the endless debate about social policies, but most Europeans would be amazed at the comment that America has "accomplished more for its citizens" than Europe. As I said: please come live here for a time. You'll find we are modern, happy and prosperous. Really! I think you will also get a friendly welcome.
Andreas
Munich, Fri 09/15/2006
Anyone can be a jerk
I've seen tourists from all over the world who behaved badly so it's not just an American thing by any means.
it's not about diplomacy either because Americans have been disliked or outright hated in Europe for many, many years. This country was primarily founded by Europeans that left by their own choice, were pushed out or even shoved out, and they in turn were successful and fought for their own independence. We then became a superpower and had the military might to win two World Wars. Our economy is better as well, and we were able to accomplish more for our citizens in a relatively short period of time.
Susan
Atlanta, GA USA Thu 09/14/2006
More than you could possibly want to know about pub ettiquette
Warning: there is a lot to read: http://www.sirc.org/publik/pub.html
Chip
IA USA Wed 09/13/2006
Pub Etiquette
I’ve been intrigued by some of your views on English pubs. They are neither right or wrong. It is interesting. however, to see ourselves through foreign eyes. Pubs have been a lifelong interest of mine, which is not surprising since my birth certificate records I was born in my grandfather’s pub. For what it’s worth these are my English pub ten commandments ( things vary a little in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland – all of which are excellent places to go for a drink ). They particularly apply if you find yourself off the usual tourist routes.
1. * Have one for yourself *
If you find that you are waiting a long time to be served when local customers are not, try saying this phrase when you finally get to place your order. Next time the bar staff will treat you like a * local *. n.b you only have to do this once per visit to the pub.
2. * A small amount of charity goes a long way *
On display behind almost every bar is a charity box for a local or national worthwhile cause. If your round of drinks comes to £7. 68 and you hand over a £10.00 note when you receive your change take the two pound coins and tell the bar staff to put the rest of the change in the charity box. n.b. only a small amount is necessary and certainly not with every round of drinks.
3. * Children *
In a pub anyone under 18 years is a child. If you have children with you ask at the bar, before you sit down and check that it is OK for them to come into the pub. If the pub serves food or the children are over 14 in most cases it will be fine but ask anyway, don’t just assume it’s OK unless there are signs clearly saying children are welcome.
4. * It’s your money, drink what you want *
If you’re a lady and want a pint, order a pint. If you’re a gent and want a half, order a half.
5. *Pay for each round of drinks as you order them *
Unlike most drinking establishments in Europe where you pay for the drinks once you are ready to leave the English pub expects each round of drinks to be paid for once they have been poured. Also it’s expected that you go to the bar to be served, it’s rare for drinks to be brought to the table. It’s also a nice gesture if you take your empty glasses back to the bar.
6. * Don’t turn the beer sour *
Nothing turns beer sour like loud conversations about politics or religion. If you’re stuck for something to talk about make an obvious statement about the weather like * it’s a bit chilly today *. That’s what the English do.
7. * Seats can be sacred *
In some pubs it’s bad form to sit in one particular seat. This sacred seat normally * belongs * to a local who has been sitting there every day of his life since he came back from the Wars of the Roses. If you’re asked to vacate a seat under these circumstances it’s a matter of good form to comply.
8. * His/Her house, His/Her rules *
At the end of the day the landlord or landlady of the pub lives there. It’s their house you are a guest in and they get to set the rules, no matter how stupid, ignorant or incomprehensible they may be. If you drink on his/her premises you drink according to his/her rules. No two sets of rules are ever the same.
9. * Don’t enter if you’re easily offended *
Most pubs are pleasant enough easy going places but some are places where people go to let off steam. Sometimes this can mean language is used that you won’t find used in church on Sundays. This is normal, even The Queen’s husband uses a few cuss words from time to time. If you find the language is not to your taste just quietly drink up and leave.
10. * Easy does it *
Some of you guys aren’t old enough to drink where you live in the US but find yourself able to drink quite legally in English pubs. It’s nice to see you, it’s nice that you chose our country to visit for your vacation, we love to have you in our pubs. All in all you’re very welcome, but take it easy and don’t over do things. The only place we don’t want you to visit in England is the Accident and Emergency department of the local hospital.
Al Bishop
Nottingham, UK Wed 09/13/2006
Who's the loudest?
In Paris, I noticed our small group of Americans was much louder than the locals everywhere we went, especially in restaurants. In a Prague tavern, we were so loud that we were asked to leave (we were the last customers and closing time was approaching anyway). I think the key is that we were TOURISTS, not Americans. We were having a great time and sharing laughs with new friends. I'm sure a lot of Europeans on holiday in the US act the same way, and I will try to be tolerate of them when our paths meet. Do unto others and all that good stuff.
Tim M.
Apex, NC USA Tue 09/12/2006
To the most part I agree with Charles Luther. But there are many, many, Americans that think they are above and beyond everyone just because they come from America. How they talk and act is shameful. Those are the Americans that should stay home.
USA Mon 09/11/2006
We took my in-laws with us to Italy. They were surprised that we continually tried to speak Italian to the many waiters, hotel folk, etc. who so obviously spoke very good English. We thought that even though our Italian was poor it seemed more polite to at least try to speak the local language.
During our most recent trip to Europe we again butchered the local language and took much longer to order from menus when we tried to speak German than if we had just spoken English. At a cafe on the main square in Salzburg I thought we were trying the patience of the waiter by trying to order in German. At the end of the meal we smiled, laughed at ourselves, asked again how to pronounce certain items and were rewarded when this rather stiff man told us that he did, in fact, appreciate that we were trying to speak the language.
USA Mon 09/11/2006
Fitting In
It should go without saying that when in Rome, etc...Every part of the local culture should be enjoyed. Learn the language, eat the local food, leave the Big Macs behind even if McDonald's is all over Europe. Walk a lot, go into every little church and non-tourist business you see, especially in Italy. In the cities, ride the local mass transit and be one with the people.
Tom Iarossi <email>
San Diego, CA USA Sun 09/10/2006
Obnoxious tourists
Different nationalties have different habits and customs that would not be remarked upon in their home environment but in a foriegn country they shock. Frankly I like it that way and would never want it to change. Loud? None more so than Germans. Pushy in groups? Japanese, of course. Arrogant? Thy name is French. And just a bit too much of all of these? Act like they own the world? Ahh, my fellow Americans! Don't let it bother you. Some of my favorite stories are of stepping up to a urinal in a tourist spot in Spain only to be elbowed aside as a Japanese man tried to join me. The taxi driver in Paris who would not take me anywhere until I correctly pronounced Eiffel Tower. The German man at the next table who laughed so heartedly, enjoying life so much, that he slapped people on the back sitting at the next table! The beautiful Swiss girl guide who told me how neutral the Swiss were with an unmistakalbe air of superiority. The drunken Austrian who loudly told me, before the proprietor threw him out, how he could whip any American, ANY AMERICAN, EVEN MUHAMMED ALI. Lucky for him I wasn't Ali. The American who told an Italian barista that his problem and the Eye-talians in general was they had no ambition and went on to explain why he was so rich. The type is everywhere and they make great stories but hardly define a nationality.
Charles M. Luther
USA Sun 09/10/2006
Manly men order Pints
Regarding the comment on ordering in a pub: my husband asked for a small beer and the bartender commented "oh you want the ladies size". We found that to be pretty funny and he immediately changed his order to the more manly pint. I had a pint as well.
Karen
Atlanta, GA USA Sat 09/09/2006
Women ordering pints in Pubs
Give me a brake!! During my many trips to the UK I have seen women order pints.
If you want a pint then order it, you don't have to order half pint.
USA Sat 09/09/2006
Pub etiquette
Ladies; if you want a pint, order a pint. If you want a half pint, order a half pint. I've never, in 18 years of travel to Britain, including England, Ireland and Wales, had anyone raise an eyebrow over my order. Be yourself, not someone else's idea of who you ought to be.
Karen <email>
Austin, TX USA Fri 09/08/2006
Loud Americans? Ha!
If you visit any American location popular with Europeans (New York City, where I live, or the Grand Canyon, which I have visited several times, and all the rest) you will quickly discover who the loud ones are. It is the Europeans Anyone with wide experience will tell you that it is the English speaking people who are the polite ones, the not too loud ones, the ones who don't jump lines, and so on.
USA Fri 09/08/2006
Loud Americans
I lived in both Germany and Italy, and I've found that one way we Americans stand out is how LOUD we are. So when you're on a train, or in a restaurant, or walking down the street, try to speak in a lower voice.
It's also important to bring the proper attire if you will be visiting churches. My sister was not allowed into St. Peter's Basilica because she was wearing shorts. Many churches forbid the wearing of short skirts, sleaveless tops, shorts, tank tops, etc. Please also be respectful by observing silence in churches. They are not supposed to be museums.
Kristin
Arlington, VA USA Wed 09/06/2006
Hotel etiquette
I would second Mike's statement and say that even if you are NOT on a tour to abide by this rule of thumb...same goes for talking in hallways, I was in Ireland a couple of years ago and was woken up at 2am by a group having a chat in the hallway (they were not rude or obnoxious, just speaking at regular levels, but at 2am, who wants to hear that?).
USA Tue 09/05/2006
Hotel Etiquette and consideration for others
When being part of a Rick Steve's tour, please be considerate of other guests when staying in your hotel. Not eveyone wants to be woken up at 7:30am each morning by banging on each others doors. This occurred each day at Hotel De Tour Eiffel June '06!
Mike Hunt
Liverpool, UK Sun 09/03/2006
Pub Ettiquette
Small but useful. In general...ladies order a half pint (of lager and lime or cider etc...) gentlemen order a pint.
Hyden Ettevroc
Rockwall, TX USA Tue 08/29/2006
Clothing & etiquette
I have worn sneakers and jeans to the following countries with zero problems and zero worries about "sticking out": Ireland; England; France; Germany; Luxembourg; Austria; and Denmark. The golden measure of conduct in all countries: stop; observe; ask questions if you are unsure how to proceed; and be respectful of other people's ways.
Kim
Iowa City, IA USA Sun 08/27/2006
clothing for teens
From what I've seen, teenagers in Europe dress almost the same as they do here--tiny t-shirts, low-waist flare jeans, mini skirts for girls; t-shirts and cargo shorts for boys; athletic shoes for all. The only thing I think might be too racy would be those teeny-tiny shorts that the girls wear. The boys should be okay with their t-shirts and cargo shorts, as long as they don't look too much like gang members. I would suggest skirts for girls, and plain t-shirts and khaki cargo shorts for boys. Unless you're taking them someplace really conservative, this should be okay.
M
USA Thu 08/24/2006
Summer Clothing
I've been reading the responses of those regarding dress etiquette and have found them helpful. But I am needing some more advice. I am taking a small group of teenagers to Germany in the summer of 2007. I am trying to find a way to talk to them about shorts and other summer type attire. This will be my fourth trip, Ive never had a problem, but I am conservitive in my dress. They are great kids, its just attire seems to be little suggestive, minimal, racy. Maybe I'm just getting old. Any suggestions?
Nicole
WA USA Wed 08/23/2006
American embarassment
One's behavior is not predicated on somebody else's. A person is responsible for how he/she behaves in every situation. Any politician's actions is not an excuse for somebody else's bad behavior. One's own upbringing and education (I'm not referring to formal education) has more to do with how a person conducts himself/herself.
LMcQ
San Diego, CA USA Sat 08/19/2006
American embarassment.
I think some americans are just embarassed by the shortage of couth displayed by fellow coutrymen. Or perhaps the (unfortunately) lack of awareness of the rest of the world. I do think a big part of it however is that the current leaders are more war mongers than diplomats. JMHO
Teddy
Phoenix, Az USA Sat 08/19/2006
LOUD MOUTHED AMERICAN
WE HAD A TEACHER ON OUR TOUR THAT WAS VERY TALL, VERY LOUD, AND VERY OPINIONATED. IT WAS EMBARASSING, AND HE CALLED ATTENTION TO THE GROUP WHERE EVER WE WENT. I WAS WORRIED THAT HE'D CAUSE HARDSHIPS FOR EVERYONE AT BORDER CROSSINGS.
KATHI
USA Tue 08/15/2006
Opie Taylor Syndrome
Why is everyone so paranoid about being recognized as an American? I think it's because many Americans suffer from "Opie Taylor Syndrome". At a subconscious level we Americans think we all come from Mayberry, North Carolina, and that our friends are Andy Taylor, Barney Fife and Gomer Pyle. Mayberrians are all good people with hearts of gold, but we are a little gullible and naive (and maybe a little nerdy). Going to Europe, we are afraid that if we are recognized as being from Mayberry, we may be looked down on by those sophisticated, worldly, stylish, Europeans (with their fancy accents). Maybe they'll think we are bumpkins! Therefore Americans wish to camoflage their big-hearted Mayberry nature. Just a theory. I don't think the behavior has anything (or very little) to do with who is in the White House. I've watched Americans do it for 5 Administrations. Americans are no more unsophisticated than anyone else, but when entering Europe we fall back on a self-image built around a powerful myth about who we are. But, then again, Mayberry's not such a bad place and Opie is a good kid. Opie wouldn't be Opie if he was brimming over with self-confidence.
Goober
Mayberry, NC USA Tue 08/15/2006
Charles M. Luther
Now that I think of it, why is everyone so paranoid about looking like an American. You think they can't tell otherwise? Seriously? Besides, the European are nothing if not polite. And finally, some of the most pleasant encounters I have had in Europe have started with "You American?" You for Bush?, say so. You hate Bush, say that. The Europeans are wonderful, polite and pleasant people. I have yet to have one bite me.
USA Mon 08/14/2006
European Dress
Henry--- For older men, ditch the Hawaian shirts and Polo knits. Wear an old suit coat with the pants from a different suit. Good cut and cloth but a little wrinkled. White dress shirt. Have you hair cut by a monkey with hysteria. Socks should be either different colors or very limp and hanging over the shoe tops. Must have a Borsolino, preferably black. And a smile and a tip of the hat for ladies and priests. For younger men, try to match the look and style of a Wall Street equities trader.
Charles M. Luther
USA Mon 08/14/2006
Euro Clothes
In response to Kristen: I am living in Central Europe and must say that it is extremely extremely extremely SAFE. The odds of being "targeted" because you are an American must be very slim indeed. However, your question made me think: why don't we flip the question around and have a little fun with it? Instead of asking how NOT to look like an American, why not ask HOW to look like a European?? (20 years ago, tennis shoes and a baseball cap were a sure sign of an American, but not so now. Now young Europeans very often wear tennies and baseball caps.) Anyway...if you want to look like a European, try the following: 1. Wear a scarf (preferably linen or cotton); 2. Dye your hair an un-natural shade of red; 3. Men or women wear your coat over your shoulders with your arms not in the sleeves; 4. Wear super hip eye glass frames. Rectangular with very bold frames seems to be in fashion at the moment; 5. Wear colors not commonly worn in the States. For example: You see a lot of orange over here; 6. Add leather shoes that look hand-stitched and "presto!" the look is complete. Another thing I noticed: leather disco pants are still in style over here. Hmmm. Perhaps other readers can add to the list. But all fun aside (and this is meant in the spirit of fun), it is very safe over here and I wouldn't fixate too much on your clothes. Be yourself. You'll have a great trip.
Henry
Europe Mon 08/14/2006
In regards to questions about clothes...I'm a newbie international traveler...my trip isn't until next year. I've always heard all my life stories about the "ugly American" and "they" ("they" being whatever country you go to) "don't like Americans." Fair? No. True? Maybe in some isolated incidents. But I know the reason I am wondering about these things is I don't want to be targeted as overtly American. In this day and age, who can blame me? I'm sure it's an unfounded fear in those of you with years of traveling or living abroad under your belts, and must seem stupid to those who were born and raised in other countries. But for me, about to embark on my dream-trip, I am obsessing over EVERY nuance of the trip...and want to just enjoy my travels. "Blending in" is an important perception in that planning. I'll probably find out after my first trip abroad my fears were unfounded. Until then, I have Rick Steves Graffiti Wall to help me plan and prepare.
Kristen
Santa Ana, Southern California, CA USA Sun 08/13/2006
White Tennies
A few years ago I was in a laundromat in Moreton-in-Marsh having a lively conversation with a woman (English) there. I said we Americans were advised not to wear white athletic shoes in Europe lest we look too obviously American. I looked down and saw that the other woman was wearing--white trainers..... We both laughed.
Swan
USA Sun 08/13/2006
clothes
I am English and have lived in France, Germany and Belgium and have to say that the comments made here about what to wear are plain weird...wear what you want, nobody will care. Some Europeans wear trainers and bad shirts just as some Americans do, some dress more conservatively - no one English/French/Chinese/Australian person is the same as the next. Please don't worry about something as small as clothing, it's not a big deal and nobody will bat an eyelid.
brenna
newcastle, england Sat 08/12/2006
orange coloured sweaters
don't worry about it kirsten, no one will raise an eyebrow at an orange coloured anything, unless it is fake tan
Fionn
Cork, Ireland Fri 08/11/2006
Political Color?
I am thinking about what clothes I have that I can pack for my trip to Ireland next Fall and I have a perfect turtleneck sweater that I want to wear. It's pumpkin orange in color. I'll not be in Northern Ireland at any time. Will wearing the color orange in Republic of Ireland cause any trouble or raised eyebrows? I feel a bit foolish asking, but am curious and have no intention of declaring political ideologies either verbally or otherwise. I have a feeling it won't be an issue, but thought I'd ask anyway. Thanks and Slainte!
Kristen
Santa Ana, Southern California, CA USA Wed 08/09/2006
driving in Europe
Definitely follow the "stay in the right lane unless passing" rule in Europe--especially on the Autobahn in Germany. And only use the left lane to pass--never pass in the right lane. This isn't etiquette or customs, it's the rule of the road in Europe.
M
USA Tue 08/08/2006
Escalators in US
The right hand rule does not only apply to Europe. I would like to add that while in the US it is also proper etiquette to stand on the right side of the elevator to let people pass you. Same goes when driving in the US, stay in the right hand lane unless you are passing someone.
Ed
USA Tue 08/08/2006
Escalators in Europe
When in Europe, and particularly in the UK, make sure that if you are standing on an escalator that you stand on the right side. This leaves the left side for those who want to walk up the escalator. I can tell you from experience that you will be informed, in no uncertain terms, of the proper etiquette. It's important to remember that while you may be on vacation and want to take things slower, there are always those that are hurrying to get to the next place and choose to walk up the escalators to save time.
Martha
Chicago, IL USA Tue 08/08/2006
For Kristen
Kristen-In Ireland Especially if you tell them you are from Hollywood they will be interested. The Irish are very fascinated with American movies and culture. I know my husband is from there, I met him while traveling there and lived there for a while. When I went there for the first time, I told people I was from Boston and they all were asking me if I knew this one or that one..As they consider Boston the 33 county..it was pretty comical...If you show interest in them..you will have many people to talk to in the pubs and probably wont be able to buy a drink..you will have non-stop talk..pub life is so much a part of the culture there especailly in the rural areas that you must really go to them..and meet as many people as you can..they will talk all night to you..Have a good time
Sarah
Boston, MA USA Mon 08/07/2006
Be Interested in Them
Kristen-I think you are right on when you say you intend to be who you are - 2 people very interested in someone else's home country & culture. I think when people speak badly about loud Americans they are talking about those who complain loudly that this or that is "not how we have it back home". Our experience, especially when we get out of the large cities, is that locals are as interested in us as we are in them. We try to ask about what there is to see, what they especially like about where they live and they seem very happy to talk about their city and pleased that we are asking.
And I do think narrowing down where you live is a good idea-the US is quite large and though I'm sure that the folks in Scotland know where California is, it still gives them a visual to think of Hollywood. We tell folks we are from Atlanta, where the Olympics were, and this gets a good response.
When you are trying to be polite and are truly interested in someone else, they will forgive most small etiquette mistakes. We have had folks buy us drinks in a pub - marveling that we have come from the States to see all their old stuff!
BTW - we leave in a little under 12 hours for our trip to Germany, Austria, Prague and I love checking this website for the latest tips and, of course, to give my advice as well!
Karen
Atlanta, GA USA Mon 08/07/2006
More Scotland and Ireland
Erm, I just wanted to add/clarify my previous post...I have found these posts to be an exceptionally valuable resource...and they have helped me realize the behaviours I mentioned below (my loud speaking voice, and my hubbie's long showers) are not just something to chuckle about, but things we need to be aware of as possible "ugly American" issues that we need to temper out of respect for our host countries.
Thanks again, everyone for such valuable input! WIth that said...are there any etiquette issues specific to Scotland or Ireland that will help us in our journey (oh, yes, this is our first international trip).
Thanks again all and cheers!
Kristen
Santa Ana, Southern California, CA USA Sun 08/06/2006
Traveling to Scotland/Ireland
Again, thank you for all the interesting posts. I'm planning a trip to Scotland/Ireland next year with my husband and am doing my research and am eager to not stand out as a 'touristy American" yet not try overtly to blend in. My main question was about wearing jeans, which I think I've had answered.
These posts have really had me thinking. On the whole I consider my husband and I to be fairly polite people, taught well by our parents. But I laugh when I think about my husband's comments that I'm "loud" (I have a loud speaking voice, I admit) and my husband's almost neurotic habit of showering twice a day, because those two comments were made here.
I think, from reading everyone's posts, that we should just be who we are, two nice "kids" from Southern California who are verrrrry eager to see the wonderful historic places of Scotland and Ireland (we both love history and art) and meet new people, learn cultures other than our insulated one in Orange County, and have a brilliant time traveling. I've always been interested in learning Gaelic, and have ordered a languages book in Irish Gaelic so that when we're in Western Ireland I can try to communicate with the locals...as a sign of respect and as an eager visitor interested in their culture.
One curiosity I have...if a local asks where we live, and we say "Southern California, near Disneyland"....(or even "Hollywood"), will they be excited/interested? I don't say that as a matter of being silly, it's just true...when we tell people where we live we tell them we're about 10 minutes from Disneyland and sometimes (Americans) they get downright wide-eyed!
Kristen
Santa Ana, Southern California, CA USA Sun 08/06/2006
Proper Dress
You can dress however you like in Europe but in some regions you may not be respected and may even be told about your dress. For example, in Sicily, outside the beaches most Italians wear long pants and nice shirts with collars. If you (man or woman) go walking aound in very short shorts you will get stares, maybe hisses from older women and just general dislike from the local population. It is always best to dress conservatively until you see what is acceptable in the place you are in. Europeans generally dress well, better than Americans, and you can't go wrong wearing good quality pants and nice collored shirt.
Mike
Tulsa, OK USA Sat 08/05/2006
Obeying signs in Germany
I was in Munich last year and I noticed that the people do not jaywalk and obey the walk/dont walk signals very strictly. They stand like stone until the light says walk. Even if there are no cars coming. Pretty funny to see considering I have been living in New York for the last 3 years. They will also park wherever they can fit. On sidewalks, islands in the middle of the road etc.
Kim
Brooklyn, NY USA Fri 08/04/2006
Dress
I have been to Europe more than 40 times and dress styles change on a wimb. Walking in London I see more jeans and t-shirts than slacks and dress shirts. Or in the French countryside I see jeans worn more. Sneakers in most European countries is becoming more seen especially with the younger crowds.
Dress how you like. Dress for the weather. And remember Europe has many regions and styles. Blue hair in London or tank tops on Sicily. I have seen it all. Most locals here and there will give people a quick glance and maybe snear or smile no matter how you look.
AJ
Boston, MA USA Sat 07/29/2006
Acting & Dressing Respectfully
Liz, on the Packing Light thread you say that no one cares how you dress, but here you have a list of do's and don't's. If you think people should act in this or that fashion, in order to show respect for the culture you are visiting, how can you think your appearance is of no consequence? Your appearance is your first (and maybe strongest) statement of your relationship with society. It's a mark of respect to others, whether you know them or not, to dress appropriately when you are in their company, when you walk down the same street, when you sit near them in a restaurant. Of course they care how you dress, just as they care how you act. Your list is spot on.
Jane Reed
Los Angelsl, Calif. USA Tue 07/25/2006
table manners, traffic
Push your chair back into place when leaving the table. Be aware of pathways wherever you may be, and don't block by stopping, standing, gawking, chatting. Move aside. Don't be a "friendly" pedestrian and yield your right-of-way to motorists. You will only interrupt traffic flow. Most Europeans (DE,FR,CH,AU,UK,BE) are better trained drivers and expect you to know the rules and obey them.
liz
boulder, co Sun 07/23/2006
Well Mannered Kids
In Germany, Austria and France we had the opportunity to meet local families whom we knew via mutual friends, etc. In each country I was amazed to meet pre-teens and young teens who, when introduced, stepped forward and shook hands and politely said hello. Afterwards (back at the hotel) when I suggested that my kids should do the same, they reacted like I was clearly the geekiest dad on the planet. I'll keep trying!
American Parent
USA Thu 07/13/2006
re: photos
Editors note: future posts regarding photos in museums and churches will be deleted. The Graffiti Wall is not a conversation board, and please only post your personal experiences regarding customs and ettiquite in Europe - the Graffiti wall is not intended as a discourse on personal ethics.
Thank you.
CB
Rick Steves ETBD, Wed 07/12/2006
Roman Subways
I just returned from three and half weeks in Italy and thought I would comment on an un-spoken rule about Roman subways or simply Italian trains in general. It is the un-spoken rule that if you are exiting the train at the next stop, that you line up in front of the doors. If you are not exiting, you really need to move away. I live near Chicago and still, I have to say, the Italians are very quick about getting on and off the trains. The subway cars do not stop very long at the stations and they and will get frustrated if you block the lines or push you way through to get off. Try to line up far in advance in order to exit peacfully.
Jessica M
Normal, IL USA Mon 07/10/2006
Clothing while visiting churches
We just got back from two weeks in Italy and found churches to be a wonderful window into history and our own faith.
We noticed that many requests to have shoulders and knees covered were ignored by other travelers - if there was any possibility we would stop in a church, I carried a light jacket with me and we made sure to wear longer skirts or pants that day. I think that by tourists being aware of churches as a place of worship, that could help shrink the gap between the tourists and the local culture.
Lori <email>
Chicago, IL USA Sun 07/09/2006
Holy place or Disney World
While I wouldn't wear shorts in a church, I know women who wouldn't wear pants. I think God doesn't care what we wear, and in this day and time anything that gets people into a church (or synagogue or whatever)for whatever reason, be it worship or art, is good. How many times have people wallked into a church because it was a "tourist destination" and said a prayer or lit a candle. I know I have and how is that bad? Sorry, don't mean to sound preachy.
USA Wed 07/05/2006
Clothing Debate
We were in Luxembourg at a fairly pricey hotel. There were a group of men at table for breakfast- European men speaking French- and this is what I observed: One man with shorts and leather loafers, no socks. One man with shorts, black socks and sandals. One man with shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. These were middle age men on vacation. I am getting tired of reading about how Europeans dress so much "nicer" and Americans stick out because of our white gym shoes. After observing people in 5 countries over the past 2.5 weeks I determined that people wear whatever they want- whatever the country. Americans don't have the market cornered on bad fashion!
I wouldn't be concerned about what you wear- a tourist will always stick out as a tourist. I don't know anyone that goes to work with a camera and a backpack! Enjoy your trip. I don't see why people freak out so much about what they wear- we see tourists all the time in Chicago- it's no big deal!
LJ
Chicago, USA Mon 07/03/2006
picture taking
I do agree about the picture situation, although when I went to the Louvre last year pictures were allowed, I was surprised, and it was mostly everywhere, including the Mona Lisa. What I do is take my pictures with the Museum setting my camera has. It adjusts to the light in the room, and very quietly, without flash, takes the picture. I found that the french were more liberal with the picture taking, but in Italy, they were more strict with this. I will admit to taking some anyway, but I made sure it was discreet, nobody noticed because it was so quiet and no flash. To be honest, the people with camera phones were much more noticeable.
Happy clicking !
Sally
CA USA Wed 06/14/2006
Dress for the UK
My husband and I have been to the UK more than 35 times (more than half of those in the summer). I think that light weight pants are much more approrpaite and comfortable than jean shorts! The weather there is very, very changeable. You could have hot(85+) temps and humidity one day and cool (highs less than 55)then next. Pants are just more practical than shorts. I usually wear a pair of cotton blend black pants and pack 1 other pair of black and 1 pair of kahki. I don't "do" shorts even at home. My husband wears 1 pair of "Dockers" type pants and takes 1 or 2 pair. He did take 1 pair of shorts one year when we knew they were having a heat wave, but they were "walking" shorts- cotton, almost knee length. Black pants can't be beat for looking right in just about any situation- casual to slightly dressy- when paired with the right shirt.
Toni Yates
Charlotte, NC USA Tue 06/13/2006
Dress in UK
Wearing jean shorts, a t-shirt, and sneakers, you will definetly stick out as tourists. Such dress is more appropriate for a trip to Six-Flags as opposed to visiting Europe. Your best bet is to wear some light weight breathable pants, good walking shoes like Ecco or Mephisto, and a collared shirt. You will be treated with more respect and will feel more comfortable blending in.
Ed
USA Tue 06/13/2006
UK dress code
Karen,my husabnd is the same as yours, wears nothing but jean shorts and t-shirts. In London, we stuck out a little bit, but were younger and it was okay. I don't know your ages, but one doesn't see middle aged people in shorts in England. However, if you are doing alot of walking, especially the countryside, it's more common.I think the Brits are more laid back about dress than other Europeans. Have fun!
Lorretta <email>
Houston, TX USA Tue 06/13/2006
Les Francais
Regarding attempts at speaking another person's language, I must say that I speak, write and read quite a bit of French, but I have a hard time hearing it because they speak quickly and my brain is too busy trying to translate and I miss half of what they are saying. It is probably the case with French persons who speak English. They may have a hard time with our many accents and quick speaking. And let's face it, we don't always speak the proper English they have been taught. I am going to France this summer with an open mind about the French people. I think assumptions about other cultures is what divides us. I hope to try my simple French on them and hopefully, they will understand me enough and possibly try out their own English language skills.I will be visiting my French pen pal from nineteen years ago. We had the same problem when we first met. She could speak English and I could speak French and that is how we communicated.
Lorretta <email>
Houston, TX USA Mon 06/12/2006
Cameras
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Do not use your camera in churches / museums or other places where it is strictly forbidden! My enjoyment of the Mona Lisa was marred by the continual clicks & flashes of people trying to take pictures - and then the staff reprimanding the picture taker, and trying to kick them out of the rom.
I had the same experience in Sacre Couer on Easter... click click flash flash of cameras - followed by a nun repremanding the guest and asking them to leave - in the middle of a church service on one of the holiest days in the Christian year!
If there is a sign that says "no pictures" - don't even do it. Or ask a staff-person if it's okay to use the museum setting. The rules are not there to twart your fun - they are to increase the enjoyment for all. And in many cases to protect art from damage & fading that can occur from all the flashes.
All of the tourist places will have postcards, posters, and other souveniers, and you are usually welcome to take pictures outside if you really must have an "I was there" picture. Please follow the rules & stop ruining other people's visits!
Rebecca
Portrland, OR USA Fri 06/09/2006
Clothing
"Holy place or Disney World".
Any "sight", holy or not, has the right to impose any dress code they wish. So, if you are so intent on wearing shorts, stay home. That will leave those of us who do respect other countries customs and mores, that much more room to enjoy all the beautiful places in the world.
Anne
USA Sat 06/03/2006
Manners
These churches are first and foremost places of worship. I for one, am happy to dress respectfully in exchange for an opportunity to view art masterpieces or to hear the fantastic acoustics during a concert. I am grateful to be allowed into these places of worship without attending a religious ceremony. If they sell an item I think is "tacky", I don't buy it but am grateful for those who do buy them if it helps keep the doors open and defrays some of the costs or wear and tear we tourists inflict.
Diane
USA Fri 06/02/2006
While it may be considered tacky by some to wear shorts in a church, let's keep in mind that many of these "churches" aren't exactly the holiest of places anymore.
I'm sorry, but you lose the ability to play the "holier than thou" card when you put touristy souvenir penny machines inside the Notre Dame, as I saw last week.
Either be a holy place or be Disney World, but you can't be both.
USA Thu 06/01/2006
I don't believe an American should try to dress "European" anymore than European or Japanese etc. vistors to the US should be expected to dress "American" , however I do believe that people, regardless of their nationality or what country they are visiting should dress neat and clean and wear the proper clothing an occasion calls for. I also have seen people of all nationalities fail to do this. As far as visiting a church, I don't think it is appropriate to wear shorts when visiting a church here in the US either.
Amie
USA Tue 05/30/2006
greetings!
hello from italy!
i work in tourist office and im in contact with foreign tourists every day. i HATE when people walk in without greeting me! ok I m there for them, but i m a person! the just come in asking for a map or whatever. i find it VERY annoying! a bit of civilities first! there s no big load in saying hello!!!
a greeting and a smile will bring u far!
federico
italy Sun 05/28/2006
Dress nicely and Anticipate Good
Thank you Daisy for your comments below. I think that it is nicer and more polite to dress up a bit for our European travels. Others have written that they do not "dress to impress the Europeans" and to "wear what is comfortable no matter how you look". I have seen tourists arguing with the Vatican officials about their ability to wear shorts into St. Peters and becoming quite offended that the very plainly stated rules prohibit them from entering. Even my teenagers understand that by dressing in slightly nicer clothes (i.e. a collared shirt for my son and a skirt for my daughter) they are likely to be looked upon more favorably by the public. This is true whether you are traveling in Europe or the States.
And though my kids do tease me about my horrible French pronunciation, I felt better attempting a few words and hoping that the other person would soon jump in with their better English.
In general, I seem to be treated better when I appear to be interested in the city, culture, people. Maybe part of it is what you expect. I travel with the expectation that I will meet some interesting people - and I have. I know that people in big cities tend to be more brusque and business-like and I don't take that too personally. I assume that the waiter's smile at my butchering of the language is more good natured than belittling. Most of all I try to look at cultural differences as just that - a difference in how you approach things based on where you have been brought up.
Karen
Atlanta, GA USA Sat 05/27/2006
A Church May Be a Tourist Spot but It's Not the Beach
When are tourists going to learn that scimpy clothing is not appropriate attire in church? By now, I should think everybody knows that, man or woman, you can't get into St. Peter's Basilica in Rome if you are wearing short shorts, a sleeveless top, a blouse with a plunging neckline, a crop top that shows your tummy, or bare shoulders. If you are offended by their rule that you cover up, then don't go to the Vatican and miss all their treasures.
Daisy
Ballston Lake, NY USA Fri 05/26/2006
Hi! How are you!
I grew up in Alaska and spent my first year of college in Minnesota. People from Minnesota were always saying "Hi, how are you!" in passing and I thought it was really strange that nobody ever stuck around to get your answer. When in Rome....
Seattle, USA Thu 05/25/2006
Shorts or no shorts
Why shorts are unacceptable and man-capris acceptable in Germany is beyond me. I find the sight of a 40-50 year old man in Capri pants quite frightening, but apparently it's the rage (thanks in part to H&M).
Jason
Portland, OR USA Wed 05/24/2006
Shorts, Capri pants, and unfortunate legwear
We've taken two long family trips to France in the last few years, the third one coming up in a few weeks. We noticed the curious wearing by men of Capri-style pants last time there, even on very hot days. I chalked it up to what I assumed was the inability for some men to commit to a short. But they probably think shorts look as strange as we think those Capris look, it's just a cultural difference. Lightweight traveler-style pants are nice for those who desire cooler legwear and wish to avoid blatant tourist stigmas.
I must strongly ditto the comments by other posters that it's important to trot out your few lame words in French instead of assuming English knowledge. Most French I've encountered are happy to converse in English, they just don't want to be expected to without some politeness. I had a wine pourer at a cave in the Loire who spoke excellent English tell me so in so many words. His coworker spoke very little English, and he was enjoying listening to me butcher his native tongue before stepping in to assist. It was all fun stuff.
Loudon
Seattle, WA USA Wed 05/24/2006
Appreciation of aesthetics? How?
When I was a student of history of art, I worked one summer as a guide in the royal palace in Madrid, Spain. I was very puzzled to see that those visitors who marveled at the architecture, the textiles, the paintings, china, furniture etc of the palace were often so very BADLY DRESSED. I fail to understand that if you really have an eye for aesthetics, proportion, balance, color... you can be so blind when you chose your clothes. This is NOT aimed at americans, but at people in general. Please enlighten me.
Javier Pijuan <email>
Salamanca, USA Tue 05/23/2006
Etiquette
Do not ever ever take off your shoes in any mediterranean countries, it is considered ab-solutely no-no.
Carmen
Madrid, Spain Tue 05/23/2006
Manners
The custom we observed in cafes and restaurants in Paris was that bread is placed directly on the tablecloth, rather than on a plate - crumbs and all.
Ryan
Seattle, WA USA Mon 05/15/2006
Manners
I have a question. When in France, if your server brings a basket of bread but no bread plate, are you supposed to wait to eat the bread until your meal arrives or can you eat it (crumbs and all) over your place mat and/or table cloth? My friends opted for eating without the bread plate but I opted for waiting. I sure was hungry though! :-)
Jana <email>
Grand Rapids, MI USA Sun 05/14/2006
Shorts in Spain
Just a note on the wearing of shorts in Spain. While I fully agree that travelers are best off not wearing shorts, when I was in Valladolid (about 2 hours drive NNW of Madrid)I was often encouraged to wear shorts by the mother of the family I lived with. She only wore shorts for sports, but her sister often wore a pair of cut-off jeans (her sister was 30-40 years old and an athletic type). Several times when I was wearing pants, the mother encouraged me to put on shorts because it was hot outside (to me, only mildly hot, but to them very hot). I'm not sure why she kept encouraging me to wear shorts, because few other adults or young people wore them - children did regularly. Another interesting clothes observation: red shoes and white shoes (but not athletic shoes) seemed to be very popular for men and women.
RMH
Statesville, NC USA Fri 05/12/2006
Customs & Etiquette/France and Italy
We got back last week from Paris and could not have had a better experience. We took to heart the advice in Rick's books about greeting shop owners (both with bonjour madame/monsieur on entry and a merci, madame/monsieur, au revoir on leaving), along with other suggestions. In nine days we had nothing but gracious, hospitable treatment by everyone from sales clerks to museum staff to waiters. Three pieces of advice I can share for those going to France (or Italy, or other countries for that matter): 1) AT LEAST learn how to say "I'm sorry, I don't speak (French/Italian/whatever). It really goes a long way, especially in cities like Paris where people are dealing with tourists all day long. 2) I brushed up on my college French. It's far from perfect, but opened many doors in Paris. They truly appreciated the my attempts and took it as an American trying to appreciate their culture. 3) Many Parisians we encountered speak English, and many very fluently. They were not reserved or hostile about using it. But again, they appreciated our attempts to speak French (same for Italy, where I learned the basic phrases to get around). If I was able to communicate without problem, they would continue in French; if I was having problems they would switch to English. Lastly, remember that cities like Paris are overrun with tourists from around the world. In a cafe you might be the 175th tourist that a waiter has served that day. They will appreciate you not assuming that they speak English, and that you are making an attempt to speak their language. You are, after all, in their country :) A few basics phrases work magic and we've never had a bad experience in Europe yet! A final note - we did not have a single negative experience in France because we were American. Just the opposite - we had many people who were inquisitive about life and culture in the U.S. Again, our efforts to show that we appreciate their culture and to blend in (no white tennis shoes, baseball caps, giant backpacks...) went a long way.
Ryan
Seattle, WA USA Fri 04/28/2006
Ice Ice Baby . .
This just reoccured to me because of the experiences of an American friend just returned from my beloved "Old World"! Sometimes I do forget about the very fundamentals . .
Ice (cubes) are NOT a given in most Germanic countries!
Most Germanic people believe that eating/drinking very cold or very hot dishes are detrimental to one's health, therefore American travelers should expect some fundamental differences in that direction!
If you order "Ice" ("Eis") in my part of the world, you will most likely be asked: Chocolate or Strawberry??
because Ice/Eis = Ice Cream . . .
If you do ask for ice cubes, you might luck out since Europeans are getting ever more hip to the demands of North American travelers.
But most likely you will get 1 or 2 (yes, you are reading that right!) ice-cubes, served proudly in your Cola or water (mineral or still).
Electricity in Europe is very expensive because of the strict environmental laws. So, most Europeans have very tiny ice-boxes (refridgerators) and freezers if they have freezers at all . . I have yet to see ONE ice-cube tray among my family and friends!
So, you might have to suffer through "warm" beverages, but it won't kill you, trust me! You actually might enjoy TASTING the ingredients for a change ;-))
While I am on that subject:
if you are overcome by homesickness or in dire need of burping:
do ask for a Cola (or Cola Light), and you shall receive!!
Asking for Coke or Pepsi might not get you as far . . .
Cola (Coca Cola) and Cola Light will get you a Diet Coke without problems, most likely the REAL THING.
Corinna <email>
Wachau, Austria & USA Wed 04/19/2006
etiquette and customs
I am an american and have been living in France for almost 2 years. One thing I have learned is that attitude will get you anywhere OR nowhere! "When in Rome....." and all that!
I am american and I still get frustrated with the differences but I also see traveling and being somewhere new as an opportunity to understand people better. Required reading for anyone who will be spending lengthy time in France is "Sixty Million Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong". I am not saying that this is a "bible" on which to basis your opinion of french people on and I have come across items in the book that I don't agree with but it does help to understand our differences! I had to change my attitude and see things from their perspective. Being here on vacation is definitely different than living here but if you have the same positive attitude, except the differences for what they are, you will enjoy these experiences and time much more!
expatinfrance
chicago, Il USA Mon 04/17/2006
A few general observations
My dear American friends,
I haven't posted for a while but tonight reread all posts on this topic.
Here are a few random thoughts and observations:
I was a little troubled about the post from Betty in Albany, OR and a few others. Betty, please look forward to your trip to Europe this fall with joy and anticipation!
I did not think at all that any of the tips and suggestions posted here were in any way intimidating or negative at all, so I was rather surprised at a few of the reactions! After all, the topic itself invites concrete advice, does it not?
Yes, smiles and a few phrases in the respective language will be more than sufficient to make your trips enjoyable ones; the few inside tips posted here just might make navigating in a different culture a little easier for an American traveler.
When I first came to the USA I was faced with a contingent of traditional Native American inlaws and I cannot begin to tell you how glad I was that I had studied my ex-husband's culture, history and taken the trouble to learn the Cherokee alphabet and a few phrases to boot.
I was immediately embraced and treated with affection and respect.
Never did it occur to me that they should deal with my European ways because they are just as good as Cherokee customs! Yikes!
I have traveled to India, North Africa to many different European countries and throughout the United States, always doing a bit of research into local customs before heading out. That's one of the best parts! The anticipation, the first tentative knowledge about something new and different and exotic! I have never, ever felt intimidated, defensive or exasperated, I've never looked at it from the perspective of: I am just as good if not better than the folks whose country I am visiting - how dare they expect anything beyond of who and how I am . .
Au contrair: when I go a traveling I open up my mind all the way, I get ready to listen, look, smell, feel and learn and be the richer for it in the end.
We Europeans are by no means more sophisticated, cultured or better informed than Americans. We are DIFFERENT, that's all!
Sorry - I didn't mean to rant and rave!
But I do want to make the point that this topic should be helpful to people, not intimidate or veer off into "Us vs. Them"! I think it is so utterly marvelous that through the internet we can just access information at the push of a button. It never ceases to amaze me!
Now, what is this all about "outeuroring" Europeans???
To me personally there is nothing worse than an American trying to pose as a Canadian . . . and nothing more excellent and endearing than an American making an effort to understand local culture and customs! So, be true to yourself, we'll love you anyways ;-)))
Happy travels,
Corinna <email>
Austria & USA Wed 04/12/2006
thanks
We were in Portugal last fall and our best phrase was "Thank you", Every time we used it people chucked or smiled, we thought it was our pronunciation but checked with three people who knew both languages and we were saying it correctly, I think people just appreciated the fact we were trying and having fun.
saundra <email>
indpls, in USA Sun 04/09/2006
Thanks, Reverse
Thanks for the clarification. We are in agreement! The truth of the matter is: for 99 out of 100 Americans, it would be completely impossible to "hide" the fact that you are American. Even those with fairly good language skills give themselves away as soon as they open their mouth. Euros are frustratingly good at recognizing accents and a third of the population will automatically answer in English anyways. Sometimes it is a claim to fame to come home and say: "Honey, I went all day and no one answered me in English!" (And that is not because I'm trying to hide that I'm an American, but because --dammit-- I want credit for my language skills!) Now, I have run into an American who habitually tells the locals that she is Canadian. She does so because she wants to avoid getting into political arguments. That's taking it a bit far in my book. (I was surprised to find this is not a uniquely American strategy, either. The other day I ran into a Christian from Lebanon who usually tells his countrymen he's Muslim. For the same reason: to avoid a political scrap.) Anyway, heck, you ultimately can't hide who you are. As Rick says: being American has a lot of cultural pluses: People tend to be open and friendly with us because that is how we are percieved. As far as if American culture is more unpolished than European culture: It is not about what country you come from. It's more about how you were raised. However, in a lot of Europe people do interact with strangers in a more "formal" manner. Sometimes that might be taken as better manners, but its not the same thing really. Next topic: yes, sometimes you might meet a newcomer who is trying to prove his or her "European Savy Quotient" by acting like an obnoxious Europe expert (raise your hand if you have completely avoided doing this! ha ha!), but usually they don't go so far as to tell you to modify your behavior (If they did, they would quickly get banished from the expat circle of friends). Being the "Europe Expert" may be a normal phase in adjusting to life overseas. Most people get over it quickly. Especially when they start bumping into expats who have been here 30 years... or even second generation expats: I've met afew! Goodness. I've gone on too long! Keep up the good work, everyone!
Europe Mon 04/03/2006
Reverse Ugly
To Europe:
No, No, No. This is probably why I get in trouble. Incomplete thoughts. Yes, I agree that people everywhere appreciate efforts by visitors to learn and embrace their culture, language (particularly language,)etc. What I think is laughed at, or more correctly, chuckled at, are the, often, misguided efforts of some, presumably to avoid being identified as American. No one of my acquaintance (I hope) is laughing at anyone.
Being nice, being interested, being polite, being generous all mean a lot more than what clothes you wear or how you hold your fork.
I guess that I get impatient when the implication is that our culture is so coarse that we must adopt a different set of rules when venturing abroad. Yes, society is coarsening. But not just in America. As I stated before, if you are polite and appropriate at home, 99% of the time you are acting in a way that will be appreciated everywhere.
There! Is that better?
USA Mon 04/03/2006
Really? You know a lot of Europeans who laugh at Americans in Europe who are trying to "blend in"? My experience is that Europeans are very appreciative of Americans who try to speak the language and try to follow the local ways. There are somewhere between a half million and a million Americans who live in Europe. I don't think any of our neighbors laugh at us for attempting to learn the local language, etc. I have never seen an expat "shush" a fellow American or tell him how to hold his or her fork. However, I've also never seen an expat tell another expat that he or she wasn't acting American enough. Both extremes sound kinda comical.
Europe Mon 04/03/2006
Reverse Ugly
Thanks for your observations. You said what I feel much more kindly than I might have. I have gotten in trouble on Rick's board for bluntly saying that being an American doesn't automatically mean "Ugly". There are just as many rude, crude Europeans as Americans. As long as we are polite and appropriate, why are we so obsessed with not being recognized?
I think that you are correct that there are Americans that are trying to out Euro the Europeans. My European friends like me for me and frankly have a laugh over the misguided machinations of those wanting so badly to blend in.
L
Portland, USA Fri 03/31/2006
Reverse Ugly American
Sorry in advance if this is in the wrong spot!
I just wanted to share a moment that troubled me on my last trip to europe. I have lived/studied/worked on and off in Europe for the past six years and travel there at least three times a year. My last trip was purely a pleaseure trip as I met some ski bum friends (i was once one over there myself) and skied for two weeks around europe.
As we had all worked as ski instructors in Germany we are very comfortable with the German ski culture, thus when we were skiing at Val Gardena in Italy was did the apres ski scene German style and went to the German bars. We met a few Germans and had a great time. As is the German custom, one must party in your ski boots until at least 6 or 7pm (No, i would never do that here!). We were taking our boots off in the parking lot, bantering back and forth with some germans we had met. The conversation was primaraly in German and no one seemed to have a problem, no looked at us strangley etc. We were not acting at all out of the ordinary for the European apres ski scene. However, the Germans left and we switched back to English amongst ourselves. In no time another American walked by and told us that he was ashamed to be from the same country as us and cursed at us for being "loud". He left quickly and another German couple in the parking lot came over and told us the only reason he had said that was he heard us speaking English rather then German and not to worry about it. We talked about the "ugly American" with them, of which i have witnessed many times and the Germans assured us that we were not behaving any different then any German or Italian would. They also said that had seen that before, some Americans are eager to call out thier countrymen to prove how much more euro they are. I was disturbed by this as I had never encountered it before.
Just wanted to let ppl know that this happens, dont be the Ugly American but also dont be the holier then thou American, just because you hear English with an American accent does not mean "clueless" Thanks for the space.
Ethan <email>
Calgary, AB Canada Thu 03/30/2006
nach haus telefonieren
IN GERMANY: If you ask for someone's phone number: Call them! If you say, "We should get together sometime for tea, I'll give you a call." Call the next day, he or she will expect it. In the US, many of us have the bad habit of collecting numbers from people we will never call, or casually mentioning going to get lunch at some point in the future. In the US, all of this talk is rhetorical, just like saying "Hi, how are you?" and not expecting an answer. Just a little something I learned the hard way. =)
Mikkel
Boulder, CO USA Fri 03/24/2006
What to Avoid
This posting could also belong on "Most Embarrassing Moments" board. I've broken all these rules and been appropriately embarrassed. 1)In France and Italy, Don't arrive at the checkout in stores without having your produce weighed and priced first. 2)When in a museum or cathedral and you hear a guide speaking English, don't join the group unless you pay or are sure it is free. 3)Don't touch the merchandise in most stores or even in flea markets (in Italy I have seen signs to this effect lately)
Swan
USA Wed 03/22/2006
Courtesies
Just relax, be yourself, be polite and friendly, and folks will open up to you like flowers in the spring. My wife and I are taking our next trip this June to England, France and Belgium. I don't speak a word of French, although I did get a language CD to try to bone up on some survival phrases. I've hit this webpage to get tips on courtesies from folks who've been there. We're just planning to be polite & friendly, and I think things will be great!
Paul Barnhill <email>
Virginia Beach, VA USA Tue 03/21/2006
Customs and Etiquette
My husband and I spent a wonderful 2 & 1/2 weeks with his relatives in a small village in the Czech Republic. New to us was the custom of removing your shoes before entering someones home. We also found that in all the homes we visited everyone provided slip on sandals (rather like Birkenstocks) for their guests to wear. Thanks Rick for the hint on the Graffiti Wall for preparing us for this custom.
Kathy Cambal <email>
Scottsdale, Az USA Sun 03/19/2006
Etiquette and customs
One etiquette tip we learned living overseas was to never go emptyhanded to someone's home for a meal. Always take a bouquet of flowers or a bottle of wine (not necessarily to be served that day). It expresses appreciation to the host and says that you value the effort being expended on your behalf. We have carried that custom home for over 30 years, and never been out of step anywhere at anytime. If you are unsure whether or not the host family consumes alcohol, stick with the flowers or a nice box of chocolates. As has been stated, good manners may differ slightly from place to place, but kindness, consideration and good deeds never go amiss.
Becky Moore <email>
Katy, TX USA Wed 03/08/2006
manners etc.
I would stick to the basics: smile, be polite, learn to say "hello", "excuse me", "thank you" etc. in "their" language... That will most definitely help you a long way.
If you are really at it, learn some general trivia about "their" country and history as well - it is absolutely flattering for a native if a "foreigner" actually knows something about their country. The best compliment you could possibly give. Of course, you should concentrate on the high points and ignore low points like civil wars etc. ;-)
The angle of your fork/knife/whatever in the dinner table is not that important, nor your pronounciation of "their" language. I bet that the simple effort, just trying to do it "the right way", is always appreciated (of course there really are no "right" ways, there are just different ways).
Shoe removal: in Finland we do remove the shoes when entering someone's home - I think it comes down to practicality, especially in fall/winter/spring... There is just so much gunk and dirt on your shoes that you don't want to spoil someone's floors and carpets with it :-)
Relations between the sexes: this might be a stereotype, but I've heard that there seems to be differences when you move from Northern Europe to Continental/Southern Europe - Northern Europe/Scandinavia tends to be more equal than, say, Germany or France. The more southern you get, the more patriarchal/"macho" it gets. But this might be a stereotype...
And, finally, the "America" thingie: it is just more convenient to call Americans... "Americans", than the "Unitedstatesians" or "Unitedstatesofamericans". The rest are "Canadians", "Mexicans", "Bolivians", "Brasilians" etc. The "Americans" are the only ones that have "America" in the name of their country, so they become branded as the "Americans".
I hope this rant of mine wasn't too long or too confusing :-)
Marko
Finland Wed 03/01/2006
Smile....
My husband gave me the best advice before my first European trip (I was going to Scandinavia): "Smile, and people will help you". People are people, and a smile is universal. Try to be able to say "hello", "please", "thank you", and "where's the bathroom?" in the local language...everything else will fall into place.
Stephanie
Columbus, OH USA Tue 02/28/2006
Re: Customs and Etiquette by Betty S
Ditto to the previous poster! Betty - just be yourself and be polite/use common sense. Nobody will banish you for not using the "correct" fork and most people in other countries do not expect non-locals to know and adhere to all their customs - really! Be open to all new customs and cultures, have fun, and be respectful of others.
FL USA Mon 02/27/2006
Re: Customs and Etiquette by Betty S
Do not be afraid! Some of these posts have been merely observations of different customs--I don't think they were meant to be an ongoing list of customs to learn and do upon arriving abroad. I think our collective observations are a good tool to help us be aware of the differences between countries and cultures. I have never had any problems with Europeans thinking my American manners were wrong (just different, and that's okay). I took my mom's advice--use my best American manners and be gracious. I think Paul Barnhill's advice in the post below is excellent. Don't worry so much! Go to Europe and enjoy the differences and have fun!
M
USA Sun 02/26/2006
Customs and Etiquette
My goodness! After reading many of the posts I am quite nervous about my first trip to Europe this coming fall.
I am sure the messages are not meant to freighten-but having to watch how I use a fork and where I put my hand while eating-and what I say is going to put a real damper on the experience for me!
Betty S
Albany, OR USA Sun 02/26/2006
Etiquette
Hi, everyone. Every time I have traveled, I have found that politeness - common courtesy - is a universal language unto itself. A language that all seem to recognize, no matter what spoken language is used. People instantly recognize someone trying to be polite. I've always tried to take a stab at the language, as well. When I do, folks usually smile and then try to help. What can I say - good manners is a universal language.
Paul Barnhill <email>
Virginia Beach, VA USA Fri 02/24/2006
My 2 eurocents
Dear all.
For your information, we sometimes greet by saying "ça va ?" ("how are you") in the French-speaking part of Belgium. It seems that the so-called greeting differences between Europe and the USA are only the tip of the iceberg or a red herring as not all Europeans greet when entering a shop. It would be more appropriate to explain to our American friends how customer service works on the other side of the Pond, and especially how customers and vendors (waiters, shop keepers, etc.) interact in Europe. America is much more "customer-oriented" than continental Europe. In other words, vendors or service providers have to pay more attention to their clients' needs and behave in an extremely professional way. In Europe, we have other standards, and that can be confusing to many Americans. Although customer service is slightly evolving in Europe, it is still "vendor-oriented". In other words, the European shop keeper can send you packing if he/she wants (but don't worry: most won't). That kind of attitude, although also criticized by Europeans, is still tolerated here. I also believe that American travellers don't have to worry too much about etiquettes and customs when coming to Europe, except if they want to settle down here. Just enjoy the differences and come back to your homeland with great anecdotes and stories.
Alex (Belgian living in Denmark) <email>
Copenhagen, Denmark Thu 02/02/2006
Paul,
"Bonjour" means hello, it is a greeting. "Comment ca va" means " how are you?" "How are you" is a question and requires an answer, most europeons do not understand that North Americans use a question as a greeting. Lets face it , we don't really want a full answer, we say it to be polite.
So saying bonjour is the same as saying how are you is incorrect. Saying hello is the same as bonjour.
USA Wed 02/01/2006
Help!! We've got 10 months to get it together
My wonderful husband has gotten us tickets to the Kaiserball 2006 as well as the concert at the Vienna Opera (the Straussfest) the next day.....though I have a limited idea what is to occurr (I am a performer and have done several scenes requiring "formal" ball manners) I would like advice from someone who has been at the ball. We will be taking waltz lessons, but is there a Polonaise and the Schottische too? I know attire if immensely formal, but what do we need to be looking for and doing....we don't want to come off as "Ugly and uncouth Americans"!!!!!
Help!!
janet <email>
Hermitage, PA USA Mon 01/30/2006
Advice from a parisian
Just a few advice from a parisian:
Don't focus too much on all of this, it's not really that important. If people seem puzzled or don't understand you, don't take it personnaly, they are most of the time just surprised and dont mean to be rude to you. Just be friendly, opened and patient, and everything will go smoothly. And people in europe are not better than americans, don't believe we all speak ten languages, are all well cultured and travelled, that's definitely not true (I wish it were).
I personaly went to Prague for New Years Eve with basicaly 2 words of czeck, and it went all very well, the thing is to ask people if they speak english before starting to speak with them.
There is just one thing if you want to make friends in europe: - You can't like Chelsea and you hate mourinhio - Real Madrid is definitily not what it used to be - Ronaldinhio is the best player in the world.
I'm talking about soccer of course(That everyone calls football over here by the way, especially in the UK)
Gaétan
Paris, France Sun 01/29/2006
Common Ettiquite sense
The best advice I can give you is that you must be polite. Think about it this way when you are in another country they are hosting you and you should conform with some of the customs. Think about it this way if people came to my town how would I host them? Would I help them or just laugh at them for not being clear. Acutally when tourist come to my town I help them even if the language barrier is present. When I'm in Europe I do my best to learn the local language. I have been able to pick up French and my accent is good enough to get by.
Relax take a deep breath before reprimanding someone don't get testy just smile and it will go a long way. Be sure to appologize if you are misunderstanding something. Before you think someone is acting rude evaluate and re-evaluate your actions. Maybe you said something off-puting. It's good to be diplomatic and appologize even if an appology is not required.
Soyez Reasonable(Be Reasonable) and it will go a long way.
Daniel Onn <email>
Sarartoga, CA USA Mon 01/23/2006
Czech shoe removal
Asian & Scandinavian cultures are not the only ones to take their shoes off before entering a home - Czechs do it too! Just inside the front door of most of Czech homes have what many Americans would consider a "mud room" where coats are hung up, shoes are removed, & house slippers are available to put on before going through another door to the main part of the house. It gives me a chance to show off my huge sock collecton & good for a giggle from the kids at some of the way out patterns, since they only see either black or white socks from any of the other adults. With owning over 200 pairs of all sorts of colors & styles, they never see the same pair twice so its always a surprise.
CA USA Fri 01/20/2006
How Are You
I know from my own learning curve of it that the American phrase "How Are You" can be confusing to at least German speaking Europeans because we don't use it as a greeting but more of a follow-up and when we say "wie geht's?" then we are genuinly interested and poised to hear how someone is doing!
I was confused about this in the USA at first until I realized "How Are You" is meant as a greeting and nothing more.
As to what Thomas mentioned, this is very true - we Europeans are not as quick as Americans to call someone a friend but when we do, we take our friendships very seriously for life, and these friendships then get extended into the respective families. I was quite hurt a few times to have American "friends" simply drop out of my world never to be heard from again, but for receiving a christmas card every year, which I found very puzzling.
On the other side of the coin I accidently stepped on "American toes" hurting a very dear person's feelings once because I said: "Oh! We're not friends, we're aquaintances," simply using in English one of the nuances we have in the German language for varying degrees of friendship.
So it goes both ways :-))
Corinna <email>
USA + Austria Fri 01/20/2006
Hi! How are you?
This is great reading! But I think the discussion is too focused on the greeting "Hi, how are you?" being the reason why some Europeans hold the steriotype that Americans are "superficial". I think it goes much deeper. Americans tend to meet a new person and treat them like a long lost friend... giving them the benefit of the doubt until the new person either measures up or doesn't. Europeans generally do it exactly opposite, when they meet a new person they are much more reserved... only treating a person like a real friend after a longer period of time. I think this is the root of the steriotype. Europeans are often bemused when they see American's blurting out their life history to a total stranger, impulsively inviting strangers to join them for dinner, trading contact information with them or inviting the new acquaintance to visit when they are in the States. I'm not even mentioning American travelers who impulsively say "hey! why don't you travel on to Florence with us, since we're heading in the same direction" etc. etc. I think Europeans find such behavior friendly, endearing and funny... but also "superficial." Especially if, after having a wonderful time with an American and being treated like a close friend, they then never hear from the American again. It's not that this behavior is in any way "wrong", its just that Europeans approach it differently. On the flip side I've heard it said that Europeans waste a lot of time being hesitant about people, when they could be having fun... and --in the end-- both approaches arrive at the same place: either you're friends or you are not. The main thing is that travelers will have a leg up and be less likely to take things the wrong way if they appreciate that Americans and Europeans often look at the same thing through different cultural glasses. The "Hi, how are you" thing is only a symptom of something that is bigger and deeply engrained. In this case, neither approach is "right" or "wrong". (Sorry if I rambled on too long!)
Thomas <email>
Vienna, Austria Thu 01/19/2006
Patience/politeness go a long way
I have found that being patient and polite helps a lot when traveling....not only in Europe but also here at home and in other destinations. So does a positive attitude.....I try to remember that any reaction to that one person who was rude to me that day was offset by the 45 people who treated me just fine.
I am enjoying the "How are you?" and "Bonjour" discussion here.
Some of my European friends agree that if the American "How are you?" is to be considered shallow, then so should the French "Bomjour", German "Gruss Gott", etc. should be also. We have had several animated discussions about this. Keep up the good work!
Paul
USA Wed 01/18/2006