Hi Jackie, nice post. As far as people in the hostels seeming like they are in they're own world, it might just be that they are just kind of shy ( people probably think that of me ). Sometimes all it might take is a little effort to melt the ice to get them to open up. Don't give up ! You seem like a wonderful person who has much to share , so keep on trying!

Posted by: Andy - Jul 14, 2008 12:50 PM

Jackie, It always surprises people when I say I am shy because I have learned to make myself strike up conversations with total strangers. I took German in college and when ever I hear someone speaking German, I ask (in German) where they are from. While in Venice this past March, I even had some ask me where in Germany I was from. Quite a compliment to my accent and a stroke for my ego. Another way to meet people is to ask someone for advice on a good place for lunch or where the best nightlife can be found. Even the "standoffish" French girls might turn out to be friendlier than you think. Consider that they may just be trying to keep from being pestered by beggars and scam artists and wearing their "city faces." My experience has been that any time I ask a simple question, I invariably end up in a conversation and make a new acquaintance.

Posted by: Nancy - Jul 14, 2008 1:49 PM

Hi Jackie, Just go for it. You have to get in there and just make it happen. Older travelers will have mounds of intelligent things to pass on to the next generation. The one thing you have in common is travel.

Posted by: Fred in Atlanta - Jul 14, 2008 5:07 PM

Hi Jackie, I enjoy reading your blog because I have a daughter your age. Hope you don't mind some motherly advice ~ Don't be too worried about not making friends, you're doing the right thing to be cautious of the guys! Far better to be safe than sorry, especially when you're so young ... I only wish I'd had the sense to be as cautious as you are, when I traveled in Europe! You'll be making plenty of friends in college soon anyhow, so keep playing it safe especially when it comes to meeting guys, that's the most important thing.

Posted by: Ellen - Jul 14, 2008 5:10 PM

Jackie, I speak for all the folks in my age group that I personally know. At nearing 65 we love to converse with young people. We love their fresh ideas and enthusiasm for life. Take a chance, speak first and see how approachable we can be. Good luck to you and Mazel Tov on your first trip alone. Cheryl in Steilacoom, WA

Posted by: Cheryl - Jul 14, 2008 7:27 PM

Hey Jackie, Just wanted to let you know I've really enjoyed reading your blog! I backpacked Europe last summer after graduating from high school so I definitely know where you are coming from with meeting people while traveling. Just remember that most people feel the exact same way and they are generally relieved when someone else takes the initiative to talk to them first. As for meeting foreign guys, just make sure you and your friend stick together and I'm sure you will be fine. You seem like an intelligent girl who wouldn't purposely put herself in a particularly vulnerable position i.e. becoming intoxicated and losing your senses. Have fun and be safe!!

Posted by: Kelli - Jul 14, 2008 9:16 PM

Jackie, I've stayed in hostels many times, starting from when I was 20 so when I was around 29 and I've met people of all ages; from 16 year olds to 40 year olds and have had fun times hanging out regardless of what my age happens to be. So, don't worry about ages. I'm a shy person myself but after the first fun night with some fellow hostellers you will get over it. have fun!

Posted by: A - Jul 14, 2008 10:59 PM

Jackie, I want to thank you for being very open about your experiences and your feelings as you go through this trip. You could blog about all that you did and saw but if you don't include your honest feelings and thoughts that you have during your trip, you will miss out on what these experiences have taught you. I have been on your dad's tours a couple of times and made some great memories. My best moments were those I had with other people and experiences I had that have nothing to do with a museum, site, exhibit, or place. I have some great stories from those trips. However, like you, I am introverted and shy. I don't like getting lost, like being in control when I travel, and get frustrated when things don't go as planned. Those are things I have learned about myself. I am 15 years older than you and my wife and I just took our own trip to Spain and Portugal last September and October without a tour. I kept a journal of each day and my experiences there. So as I close, I want to share with you some things I wrote as I reflected back on my trip (sorry, new entry for that).

Posted by: Jeremy B - Jul 15, 2008 1:50 AM

Here is the last paragraph from my Spain and Portugal journal: "I feel like I learned a lot about myself. As much as I think I could live overseas and be a different person with my excitement and enthusiasm, I am indeed an introvert and don’t always like being around people all the time....I realized this trip didn’t live up to my expectations and that I had a lot to do with that. Unlike past trips, I spent most of my time just seeing things. I need to stretch myself beyond my comfort zone to have experiences. Experiences like our time with Anahid and Max and Ana in Ronda, our time with Leah in La Coruna, and a soccer game in Barcelona. I can’t blame things that happened or a lack of enthusiasm for Spain as the reason I didn’t enjoy this trip as much. If I compare this to previous experiences, the best moments are those you make and create with other people. That’s probably true in my life here back in California as well, even for an introvert." I just wanted to encourage you that even as an introvert, take some chances, meet some people, and make those the best memories of your trip. As a young woman, be careful. However, don't have any regrets in terms of your trip. Meet people and be a part of the culture. They will be some of your best memories. In Spain and Portugal, I saw everything I wanted and enjoyed the places I went to. However, I had nowhere near the memories I did from my other trips in Europe. My best memories were experiences with people and unique connections with a culture. I hope this is encouraging from a fellow introvert and thank you for your honesty and vulnerability!

Posted by: Jeremy B - Jul 15, 2008 2:01 AM

Jackie, You are very lucky to be in France to celebrate Bastille Day! As an American who has French cousins, I can tell you that you need to have patience. The French are cautious but once they see you trying to learn their culture, they will open up to you and you will have life-long friends ! Bonne Chance !

Posted by: Yann - Jul 15, 2008 5:13 AM

On my prior trip to Italy, as a single traveler on a RS tour, I was bound and determined to NOT let my shyness get in the way. I deliberately mixed up the groups of fellow travelers that I would go with in our free time and with a little effort, I made some good friends and had a lovely time with everyone. The one thing I didn't do, that I regret, is connect much with the locals. So, I have been studying Italian in preparation for my upcoming trip to Italy. Getting up the nerve to attempt to use is going to be the hardest part! The museums and sights of Europe are awesome, inspiring, and wonderful, but nothing makes for a travel memory like the human connection.

Posted by: Liz - Jul 15, 2008 7:27 AM

Well, I was suppose to get up and shower, do a Bible study, breakfast, get to the bank, etc, but your blog held me from the first entry with Mom and Dad to your determination to be more outgoing. I really hate to say this, but your a better travel writer than your Dad. Sweetie, don't ever worry about not having the bucks to chauffeur your toddlers around Europe. I think you'll do just fine.

Posted by: Karen - Jul 15, 2008 9:17 AM

Jackie I know there is an age difference, a generation difference, but I didn’t have your problem. I had the only real friend I ever had, or wanted right with me every minute of the day and night. The first and only lady I ever dated, she was my Sweetie for 55 years and 13 days. For us, the most important, the most interesting parts of travel are: The people — where they live, where they work, where they shop, where they worship, and how they get from one place to another. Architecture and antiquities — cathedrals, homes, apartments, stores and other buildings, from ancient ruins to brand new. Stone walls, bridges, castles, abbeys, amphitheaters, theaters, and aqueducts that were constructed in ancient times. Geography — the layout of cities old and new, the marketplace, the streets and the country roads, the farmland and industry, towns on the tip of a hill or in the depth of a valley, the mountains and rivers. We didn’t care a wit about hotels, restaurants, nightclubs, and that nonsense, we wanted to see the people and their country. “Breathes there a man with soul so dead … ” that he is not gratified by another’s appreciation of his home, his city, and his country. He may grumble in private over the plumbing, the taxes, and his government, but he loves to have the visitors find their surroundings beautiful and interesting. The architecture, ruins from ancient times, gardens with precision plantings, the natural beauty, art and treasures, all can easily be appreciated. The tourist who comes to “appreciate” will visit and see the beauty, and never notice the negatives seen by the tourist who came to “criticize.” They could see we enjoyed their homeland, so we made friends everywhere.

Posted by: Jim Humberd - Jul 15, 2008 9:37 AM

Hey Jackie-- I had the same problem when I was traveling in Europe for the first time by myself. It's still hard to me to strike up a conversation with strangers-- and in fact, it never got easy until I started traveling with my daughter-- babies are a universal ice-breaker! The thing that helped me was to find a "trick" that I would use to start talking to people. My personal trick, especially in a place where you're in the same space with people, like a hostel or train compartment, is to offer to share some of what you're eating or drinking. They might say no with the first offer, but if you reiterate your offer, they usually say yes. Other "tricks" might be asking what people are reading orinviting someone to join a game that you & Juliana are playing (I had a great time playing dominos in the train with some Greeks, even though we didn't have a common language). I still find it hard to just start talking to people, but it's easier if I have a plan to break the ice. Thanks for writing!

Posted by: Malika - Jul 15, 2008 10:28 AM

At your age, a few years does make a lot of difference. I can understand how people even a few years older are reluctant to talk much; they don't know you and your independence, and I bet to some extent they're concerned that if they're friendly all of a sudden they'll find the "kids" have invited themselves to tag along. As for the french girls, I imagine you speak english and not french? People are concerned about "losing face" or appearing foolish, even with strangers they'll probably never see again. As I'm sure you know this concern is especially acute among teen-age girls. and one way is to stumble or say something embarrassing in a foreign language. Even as an adult when I talk to someone in a foreign country, just about the first thing they say is "I don't speak english too well" as if to apologize in advance for any blunders, even though they end up speaking pretty fluently. And so even aside from xenophobia (or just plain dislike of english speakers), I think its going to be difficult to strike up conversations with french girls. As for the guys, lets put it this way; if there's a chance to hit on a girl, they'll do it. What's better than a girl to fool around with who's guaranteed to leave so no entanglements! Nothing ventured nothing gained, and all that. It might not be exactly what you were looking for on your trip, but I'd 2nd the advice you got earlier about talking with seniors. They'd probably be delighted with the attention, and they can give you a window into not just the present but a little sense of the recent history of where you're traveling.

Posted by: Joey - Jul 15, 2008 12:22 PM

When my daughter first travelled it took awhile to trust your gut feel for people. She found Europe the easiest for meeting people. Also make sure you have your friend with you at all times and each of you get a better feel for a person. My daughter and her friend are now doing Africa for 8 months. I feel worried for sure because of the poor areas and diseases. But she and her friend are doing well 3 months into the trip. Have even rented a car. They seem to think it is safe??? It is great that we can contact her via facebook and even see pictures she downloads. Also they but a cell phone in each country and phone us. Have fun on your trip and I am sure you will find those kindred spirits...

Posted by: les gordon - Jul 15, 2008 1:34 PM

I've stayed in about twenty hostels and they've all had different personalites, usually based on who runs them. But even the strictest rule keepers can't stop people from sharing their great adventures with others. That often begins in the kitchen, when several people are preparing their meals together. On those occasions when I've spent several days at one hostel, I've often cooked a veggie pasta dinner for everyone, on the second night. It's a great way to get everyone together and talking about their travels. It's also a fine way to meet local people, while out shopping for fresh ingredients.

Posted by: Peter - Jul 22, 2008 11:16 PM

Jackie, I wouldn't worry too much about people five years older than you thinking you're too young to talk to. I'm about six years older than you, and I can tell you that everyone between the ages of 18 and 25 looks about the same age to me. Once you start college, age will matter less and less - a weird feeling when you're just coming out of high school, but it's true. 23-year-olds in hostels probably won't even think about exactly how old you are - they'll just see someone about the same age as them, so I would say go ahead and strike up a conversation!

Posted by: Emily - Jul 24, 2008 6:08 AM

Hi jackie, i read your e-mail & it has happened to me also. i am a guy from india & i stayed abroad in south east asia for quite some time. i get on easily with stangers, old people etc but when it comes to making girl friends it is very difficult for me. right now i am in india. mail me back for a friendship from shrinivas.s.bhat

Posted by: shrinivas - Aug 05, 2008 8:30 AM

When I traveled through Europe for the first time (I was about 20 and alone--my friends were too cheap to spend their money on travel but not too cheep to spend it on clothes!! so after I read about Europe I decided it was now or never and I've never regreted it), I just tried to speak with everyone in the hostel room. I'm usually reserved and I think that inhibits people from talking to me so I have to make the effort. Come to find out most of the girls in my rooms were traveling alone too and really wanted to meet up with another single traveler so they wouldn't be alone. I made some of my closest friends, some of which were much younger than me and we've been friends for over 13 years now!! Once I got started talking it was easy!

Posted by: Natalie - Aug 05, 2008 12:03 PM

I'm 22, so I'm right in the age group you seemed to be seeing in the hostels, and I really don't think you should be ashamed of your age. Actually, I think people will really admire you when they talk to you and realize how insightful and mature you are, regardless of age really, but it only seems better when you take your age into account as well.

Posted by: Ronda - Oct 08, 2008 7:56 AM