ETBD Guide has key teaching aid kidnapped and held for ransom by Tour Members!
 |
| Ned's little beady eyes looking sad as he poses for his captors on the bridge at Galway Bay. |
Note: This report recently came to us by way of Ireland guide Stephen McPhilemy.
Irishman, history buff and veteran Rick Steves ETBD Ireland Guide, Stephen McPhilemy, recently overcame the biggest, and most fun, obstacle of his tour guiding career to date. The kidnap by tour members of his prized teaching aid, his Ned Kelly hand puppet!
According to Stephen, "Ned was kidnapped shortly after our group crossed the River Shannon in beautiful southern Ireland. Immediately I had my chief suspects but I was met by a wall of silence from all on board, even my driver! I immediately began the hilarious five day campaign of recruiting informers with offers of extra wine at my Rick Steves group picnics, and even enlisted the help of a 'mountie' tour member, alas this supposed member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police ultimately proved to be the chief kidnapper!"
For five days, each time we returned to the coach after visiting an historic site a digital photo of my kidnapped 'Ned Kelly' Puppet along with a brilliantly written, rhyming limerick would be stuck to the DVD screen at the front of the coach, stuck there by the kidnappers. I even heard a rumbling outside my bedroom door after dinner one night, I leapt to my feet to catch the less than subtle kidnapper but to my dismay they had speedily vanished and all I found on the corridor was another limerick and a another postcard from poor wee 'Ned' in captivity. My challenge was to find the kidnappers among my 26 Tour Members, before they got carried away and maybe he'd come to some "harm". After five Days of high brinks negotiations and investigations Ned was returned to his grateful guardian Stephen, in a remote parking lot in Northern Ireland. The very same one he first met Rick Steves in 10 years ago...
During the five day fun-filled stand-off between ETBD Guide and 26 Happy ETBD Tour Members, a collection of marvellous limericks had been born, 24 Americans and two Canadians got to witness how cunning and ruthless an Irishman can be when the hand puppet he loves is torn from him and little Ned even picked up not one, but two female puppet companions during his remarkable 5 day journey with the kidnappers. Most of all though 26 ETBD tour members will never forget the history lesson of Ireland's most famous son in Australia! Ned Kelly
Ultimately Ned was returned unharmed. No ransom was paid. All involved had a good laugh. "Such is life."
Or in the words of an anonymous Tour Member:
Even though we looked dazed and did snore,
We were learning and listening and more,
We admire your drive,
To keep history alive,
And we're all more Irish now than before.
The background to the dramatic event:
Stephen bought a 'Ned Kelly' hand puppet in 2003 in Melbourne Jail in Australia. For the last four years he has used him to explain the Irish emigrant experience in Australia to Tour Members on Rick Steves' Ireland Tours. Stephen bought 'Ned' on the day he got to get up close and personal with Ned Kelly's authentic 19th century armour in Melbourne Jail so the puppet is of major sentimental value. You could almost say Stephen and 'Ned' have formed a very special bond together over the years.
Why does a respected ETBD Guide use a hand puppet of an outlaw as a teaching aid?
"On my tours for Rick Steves it is one of my many missions to ensure our TM's are fully aware of the extent of Irish emigration throughout the world, not just to the USA but to Canada, Britain, mainland Europe, interestingly to South America (Chile's first president had the brilliant name of Bernardo O'Higgins!)...and of course to Australia, where 30% of people proudly claim Irish Ancestry. Ned Kelly is the personification of the good points and bad points of the Irish emigrant experience.
Who was Ned Kelly?
Ned Kelly is Australia's biggest folk hero, he was an outlaw born to Irish parents, he led his younger brothers in the Kelly Gang on a Robin Hood type spree of robbing from the rich to give to the Irish poor and to the Gang themselves! Ned Kelly is most famous for two reasons. The first being that in his last-stand gunfight against the law in 1880 he wore a suit of home-made armour! The second being his iconic last words some months later as he faced the British noose and hangman — his philosophical words were short and sweet — "Such is Life." Mick Jagger was bizarrely cast as Ned Kelly for the 1970's movie originally titled "Ned Kelly," though Heath Ledger did him much more justice (no pun intended) in the 2003 Hollywood blockbuster, imaginatively titled "Ned Kelly!" Peter Carey's novel True History of the Kelly Gang was published in 2000, and was awarded the 2001 Booker Prize.
The Limericks:
(Stephens note: Here is how wikipedia defines how a Limerick should be formed "A limerick has five lines, with three metrical feet in the first, second and fifth lines and two metrical feet in the third and fourth lines. A variety of types of metrical foot can be used, but the most typical are the amphibrach (a stressed syllable between two unstressed syllables) and the anapaest (two unstressed syllables followed by a stressed syllable). The rhyme scheme is usually AABBA"
An Caillte
There once was a puppet named Ned,
Who wore armour all over his head,
A gangster was he,
He gave us no plea,
Now find him before he goes dead
I was left in the bus, what a shame,
So to the Aran islands I came,
I toured on the bus
And created a fuss
But found no Kelly to blame
If only my brothers weren't shot,
They'd be here to help me a lot,
But I only have you,
So what can you do,
To overcome this dastardly plot
(Stephen's note: This one was written on a postcard, left under my door, with 2 goats, mummy looking at young one saying "here's looking at you kid.")
The importance of "being earnest"
Is not to give up your sureness
Will you find me?
Out among the trees?
Or when you are in pureness
(Stephen's note: This postcard featured the majestic Cliffs of Moher but had the title of the U2 song "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" in individual letters cut out from a magazine and glued on in true kidnapping style, it was at this stage I finally accepted I wasn't dealing with amateurs.)
I had fun at the game you call hurling
Though it did send my head all a whirling,
What a day I have had,
And for that I'm so glad,
The freedom, it has my coat twirling
There once was a crook named Kelly
Who wanted to fill up his belly
He went into a pub
Alas there was no grub
So he went next door to the Deli
I'm pleading for you for my life,
I can't take much more of this strife,
So pay the demand,
As they command,
And as we all know "such is life"
(Ransom: Leather jacket or a concert with singing and drums by you with your brother (If possible) all ransoms are negotiable!)
We all know that Ned has been busy
With hardly the time for a missie,
But annie caught his eye
He said "Annie, I'm your guy"
And Ned's so in love that he's dizzie!
I like my new friend called Colleen,
She's the sweetest girl I've ever seen,
To me she's a fairy,
Will she join us in Derry?
And be happier than I've ever been.
I know you're so glad that I'm back,
My friends carried me round in their pack,
We danced and we sang,
With all the whole gang,
And we shared a great deal of good craic.
We will never forget the name Ned,
And all the history you've put in our head,
He's only a toy,
But to our "wonder boy"
He's a ..........
(fill in the blanks, can you do better?)
Even though we looked dazed and did snore,
We are learning and listening and more,
We admire your drive,
To keep history alive,
And we're all more Irish now than before.